Happy 2018 y’all! Come on in, lemme set the scene. I am sitting here with our Christmas tree & decor still fully on display. I refused to let DJ take it down this week, and… More
AHHH! I am SO SO SO excited to share this momentous weekend, I cannot even contain it. But I will say.. it was one of those weekends that was just soo good, I’m afraid I won’t do it justice! I have an obnoxious number of pictures to share, so I’ll try to keep the typing to a minimum.
Also, I accidentally published the first post after only uploading a few photos- super sorry if you get an additional e-mail!
Let’s get started shall we?!
Clair is one of my best friends since sixth grade of middle school. We were inseparable, and still talk on a nearly daily basis even from across the country. This wedding was a celebration beyond compare.
With Clair’s permission, I want to share a little background with you all. Growing up, Clair has always been the life of the party, the “live in the moment”, nurturing, compassionate, beautiful, fun loving, happy-go-lucky, and all around amazing friend. However, she definitely has the give-everyone-the-benefit-of-the-doubt type characteristic, which lended to some not exactly great relationships.
Then a couple years ago, a tragic, life-altering event happened that would shake all our worlds. Clair’s little sister, her beautiful, perfect 16-year-old sister passed away in a horrible accident. Even typing this, tears come to my eyes. Gosh, I miss her, and it is still incredibly hard to believe this is still the reality we live in. But around that time, Clair met Robby- truly one of the most incredible men I have ever met and definitely the most perfect man for Clair. We always say that Kat pulled some strings in Heaven to make this happen. So, although this wedding day was super bitter-sweet without her little sis, seeing where Clair is now and who Clair is with brings us all more joy than I can possibly describe. I would desire nothing less for my best friend, my sister. I love you, Clair & Robby. ❤ ❤
The weekend began at SamWanna Salon in Akron, OH where the sweet bride treated us all to manis and pedis. Come on now, how stinking sweet is that?!
You guys know this girl never gets her nails did being a nurse and all that. What a treat!
In the evening, we got all dressed up and headed to the rehearsal/rehearsal dinner. It was such a wonderful time.
Me with Momma Babak, mother of the bride (but also my second mom growing up). ❤
The beautiful bride ❤
After the rehearsal dinner, I stayed with Clair and the maid of honor (Clair’s sister, Elane) at the Residence Inn Marriott in Akron. It was a stinking blast to say the least (girl’s night!).
Annnnd cue the multiple snap chat photos!!
At 6:30 in the morning (3:30 am my time in San Francisco) I woke up to squeeze in a quick run. Can you tell I’m ecstatic to be up so early? Lol.
It was worrrth it, the line up from the hotel for breakfast was fab. So many delish options and the coffee was on point!
After breakfast, the other girls came by for mimosas and bridal party pamper time!
The stunnerrrr… ❤ (I know I am using an absurd amount of hearts in this post, but it’s entirely warranted).
For lunch we had takeout Aladdin’s (a God-sent restaurant from above, amen, hallelujah, praise Him from whom all blessings flow). This Greek food is fabulous, and I could seriously eat it for dayyyyyyyyssss. Dat hummus, dem grape leaves, dat tabouleh, dat PITA…… do not get me started!
Post getting Hair Did. I cannot do my own hair for my life, so these moments must be documented.
Snap chat x2
All our makeup DONE!
Don’t mind us.. 😉
Clair and the maid of honor (who seriously gave the BEST speech of all dang time).
Here is a full on bridesmaid pic! Clair gifted us all these gorgeous robes for that pamperin’ process, and to wear in the limo on the way over. (PS. She ordered them from Etsy for any future Mrs. out thur)!
After many laughs, mimosas, and ratchet dance moves we jumped into the limo to head to the party center (fun fact: I worked at Todaros Party Center in high school with my Clair bug).
Aunt Mo also met this little nugget for the first time (Clair’s son, Jacob). Y’alll….. MY FREAKING HEART. I could not even handle it.
HE IS PERFECT
Naturally, I didn’t get any pictures of the ceremony being on stage and all that jazz *hair flip*….
But for dinner, there was a fabulous array of cheese, crackers, spinach dip, and then main courses of chicken, steak, and a vegetarian option (HOLLAAA!). This was ah-vegan-mazing! SOO Dahhh lisshhh ! I don’t know what they did to these veggies, but they were flame. (Potentially literally, maybe they were barbequed?!). Also, I quickly snatched my favorite rolls that I used to secretly eat while making bread baskets when I worked there and carb loaded for the dance floor.
OK. Someone bring me tissues.. have you ever seen anyone more perfect?! Stahp dis.
And the gorgeous couple after ❤
One of the best parts of weddings is seeing people you love love love love. Here is my sweet Lynds, who you may remember had her absolutely incredible wedding in July! You can see throw back pics of all of us in that post- Clair wasn’t able to make it because she was due with Jacob!
Me and the perfect Maid of Honor (also a fellow nurse). ❤
Me, ma, mo dinos. (No worries- you do not need to understand.. we don’t even understand)… jus’ three girls, tryna make it in this world. What is happening……… (once again.. see throw backs here).
This is I and another good friend, Kristen (Clair’s cousin). Stop growing up, please and thank yas.
The whole church gang all together ❤
Uhm, yum? Need I say more?
Also yum… getta load of this arm candy!
Alien hand once again making a debut ^^^^^.
I also may have had a minor toe fiasco on the dance floor… resulting in a bit of blood. What’s a good night without an injury?! One of the bridesmaids so sweetly helped me out .. we got that sucker bandaged up so I didn’t miss another second of dancing. 💕
Thank you, Clair and Robby, for allowing me to be part of your perfect day. (No- I am not over-utilizing the word perfect, it is entirely justified!).
After the wedding, we went back to DJ’s mom’s home (also my second home) for pumpkin pie, dirt pudding, and great chats. Oh how I miss the days of spending hours chatting in that kitchen ❤
The next day, DJ finally got his ultimate pancake fix. Heck yah. There are OFFICIALLY no better pancakes (nor better pumpkin pie) than Mom B’s. The. BEST. Even on her birthday, she spoiled US with all the yums.
On the flight back I worked out my schedule for December and early January. My research project is due in about three weeks (EEK!). I will be devoting nearly every second of free time to it, but I cannot wait to share with y’all what we have been working on. I nibbled on pita bread, hummus, tabouleh, olives, and feta. Is there anything better?!
I hope you all are doing so well. I’ve been totally MIA on your sites, but once this research project is turned in I will be able to catch up a bit. Love to you all and a happy holiday season!!!
Elllooooo, beautiful people!!! This past week I have received a few questions about when the next update post would be coming up. Wellllllzzz here it is!! I was just so tickled that a couple of you actually anticipated them that much to reach out and ask about it. It’s been a few weeks.. certainly longer than I usually go without a new post. When I posted the last one I was not in a… good place. I think I hit a wall of emotional and physical burn out.
However, I can say I am in a much better place now, exhausted still, yes, but a manageable exhaustion. I finished up the application that is due December 1st (hallay- freaking- luyah), and now can just enjoy this weekend of celebration.
Starting next week, I am going to be diving head first into completing my research project (due January 8th- EEEEK!), but I am allowing myself at least this weekend to take a breath. I cannnot, CANNOT tell you how much your personal e-mails, texts, and prayers have meant. I know I sound like a broken record, but I mean it. This month I feel like I have been climbing uphill in quicksand, and would not have made it without some tough love (aka- Uhhh, Mack, you are not doing good- GET HELP) and all the tremendous support. I am feeling optimistic moving forward and after taking sometime to regroup the last few weeks, I am ready to face the new year full steam ahead with my mojo back.
SO- rewind to Friday November 10th, DJ and I both had a day off for Veteran’s Day so we decided to brunch it upp. We headed to the local Stacks in California- a place known for their pancakes.
We have been to the one in Menlo park before and DJ didn’t quite think the pancakes lived up to the hype (I disagree- their banana macadamia coconut pancake is easily one of the best pancakes I have ever had, but this was prior to blogging, so I’ll have to try them again sometime so I can share them).
Those little suckers were tempting, but I wanted to squeeze in an afternoon run and vouched for something a bit lighter. I tried the beaters scrambled which included egg beaters, broccoli, zucchini, onion, celery, mushrooms, and diced tomatoes. I ordered a side of cottage cheese and wheat toast to top it off. Mmmmm so good. I sometimes feel like cottage cheese just adds the perfect little extra creaminess to breakfast, especially with fresh tomatoes!
DJ tried their waffle and chicken, and he liked them. (PS. DJ wrote this last sentence, lol. I can officially say he helped me write a post).
In the afternoon we headed out for a nice run around the neighborhood together. It was a gorgeous day.
Saturday, November 11th we both had work, but Sundayafter church we were able to pack in yet another brunch. I feel like we go through seasons sometimes where we eat tons of breakfast foods for our dates vs. actual dinner date nights (gotta fit them in where you can, right?!).
We decided to visit Castro Street in Mountain View to sample their dive, Crepevine. I’ve been to the one in Willow Glen, but not to this one. Crepevine is one huckuvah . fun (and tasty) experience. It’s similar to a Panera in the sense that you walk up and order, but you get a number and they bring you the food. They are an all-out breakfast place- with everything from crepes to pancakes to scrambles….. you name it, they’ve got it. And they are known for having super unique options as well.
Annnnd per my Sunday brunch & bloody kick of late- I couldn’t pass up trying their’s. Now, I will say this is probably my least favorite of the three I have tried in my life. #1= FireFish Grille in Santa Cruz, #2- Left Bank, #3 This guy. I don’t think I would order it again though.
BUT what I would definitely order again for the rest of my existence is their egg white tofu scramble- mouth is watering thinking about it. The tofu was cooked to crispy perfection. I don’t know why I don’t think about putting tofu in my eggs more often.. it’s such a stellar combo.
DJ ordered their more… shall we say… sugar laden crepe. I think when we were ordering he felt a bit of pressure since the line was long and hadn’t had a good chance to thoroughly look over the menu. When he ordered and we stepped out of line, he goes, “I think I just ordered dessert on accident”. We laughed so hard. I told him to order something else, but he didn’t care that much… He just had a sugar high the rest of the afternoon from his vanilla crepe topped with ice cream, whipped cream, and syrup.
He’s channeling his inner Buddy the Elf a bit early this year I reckon.
(PS. He is upset that I deleted his sentence that said, “DJ ordered dessert for breakfast, and he liked it“…. so there it is, Deej).
After eating breakfast, we took a nice little stroll down Castro street. We passed by the pub we popped into when my Aunt and Uncle were here around this time last year. We realized we haven’t been back since then, and it made me miss um’ a whole bunch!!
The rest of the evening, I finished up my application and decided to call it a day.
On Monday the 12th, I made a trip to Whole Foods and did some hard-core food prep for the next couple work day lunches. I discovered some goodies and can’t wait to share them in a Friday Faves!!!!
In anticipation of the next few work days, I prepped a giant tofu stir-fry, roasted peppers, cauliflower mashed potatoes (steaming in the pot before actually being made into mashed potatoes), and rosemary multicolored potatoes. I usually pack a bunch of these veggies with hummus, almonds, boom chica pop, and no cow lemon meringue bars.
I squeezed in a nice little run and hit the hay early to get recouped for the next couple days.
DJ has been playing in a league on Monday evenings, and I am hoping one of these days it works out where I’ll be able to go! I usually work Monday or Tuesdays so it’s difficult with my bedtime being so doggone early.
Also, super random, but while doing a big clean out of the house, DJ discovered this rubber spider and has been hiding it ALL OVER in places trying to scare me with it. I’ve been hiding it back, but lemme tell ya… gotta be on your toes with this one.
November 13th-14th, workin’ workin’ workin’.
One of our patient’s sent in some Susie Cakes as a thank you– it was, quite literally, a nice treat! Any die hard Susie Cake fan lovers out there? The first time I heard about them was in LA.
On November 16th, I kicked it into high gear and officially submitted my application! I spent alll day finishing it up, but I cannot even put into words how great it felt to have that done. Those essays were intense… six personal statements. SIX.
November 17th, after that was done, it was time to focus on getting ready to go back to Ohio for my best friend’s wedding. I had to find a rehearsal dinner dress and just a few accessories. I always dread shopping when I absolutely have to find something with limited time, but this trip was a surprisingly a breeze. I downloaded T. Swift’s new album (I hate to admit it.. but I love it), put some headphones in, and found what I needed fairly quick. I don’t want to love her music, because it would simply add to my resume of basic, but I can’t help myself. Her new album is so. good.
Macy’s was having a giant sale on BCBG dresses (my weakness). I found the perfect dress, and cannot wait to share with y’all after tomorrow!
In the afternoon, I went for a leisure run with the stress of finding a dress and submitting the application behind me. I felt like I could take a deep, deep breath (at least in this moment).
In the evening, I received a text from a good friend asking if I was home. Luckily I was, and Tammy, whom I have mentioned many times before, dropped in with this GORGEOUS bouquets of flowers, vegan enchiladas, vegan spaghetti squash, and a journal. I was blown away… like who does this for someone else? She is such a good friend, and I’m thankful beyond words to have her in my life. She said she knew I was having a hard time, and knew this would brighten my day (She knew right!).
The enchiladas were FLAME, as was the squash.. and my heart just melts every time I look at the flowers. I don’t know what I’d do without her!
November 18th, 19th, and 20th I worked. I actually had some incredible shifts where I connected with my patients and wasn’t bogged down to an inhuman level (thank God for the weekend grind). On Monday I actually was offered the first eight hours off due to staffing census (praise Him from whom all blessing flow), and only worked the last four. The last four were pretty insane though… considering literally minutes before I came on shift one of my patients in the Neuro Close observation room removed their feeding tube, IV, was incontinent (both ways), needed an EKG, urine sample, stool sample, sputum sample, PVR, and q2 vitals and neuro exam. It was a big ole’ game of “git r’ done”. And it all did get done. It always does, and if it doesn’t, it gets passed on, and it isn’t the end of the world. This is something I’m starting to learn. I’ve really needed to shift my perspective in order to start having less anxiety on the floor… just learning to focus on one thing at a time and realizing I can only do what I can do. OK, jumping off my soap box now…
Tuesday, November 21st I used the day to sleep. After three days of waking up at 0430, I could barely get out of bed! Those three in a row whip my behind. I did end up doing a fantastic Insanity workout in the afternoon and cooked DJ dinner of Epic burgers and rosemary parm roasted potatoes, but my productivity basically ended at that.
Yesterday, Wednesday, was ah-may-zing!!!!! I got my little toosh out of bed before 8 and went down for a nice run on the tready. OH! And I’ve been back to lifting weights too! I love the way it feels to lift.. I am starting to advance my weight from 5 lb. to 10 lbs… so you know… basically a body builder over here. LOL! I’ll take a gains picture soon when it’s not tooo pathetic 😉 I realize how important it is to be strong with all the lifting I do in my job.
I did my makeup and straightened my hair meticulously (usually my hair just gets thrown up and disregarded whenever I do anything), and I put on normal people clothes!). I told DJ it felt great to actually look like a functioning human being for once haha.
My best friend since diapers, Melissa, was in town with her family for a vacation. She was in my wedding party, so you may recognize her from our wedding pictures! I wasn’t sure if I would be able to see her because of the timing of the wedding and my work schedule, but it worked out absolutely perfectly.
I zipped down to SF as fast as I could (Aka 10 mph… cause of that thing called traffic).
I gleefully strolled into the restaurant Melissa suggested on Pier 39, Swiss Louis. I had never been here, but passed this place more times than I can count, and was eager to devour some fresh seafood.
After exchanging big hugs we couldn’t stop bouncing from topic to topic to topic. There was wayyyy too much to catch up on (and I don’t think we even scraped the surface). The two of us could spend days chatting it up, talking about everything and anything. She’s one of those people I can just let my guard down with and tell the raw, honest truth about everything going on in life. It did good for my soul to have that time with her.
No worries, I’m not gonna leave out my “what I suggest you order based on what we ordered” segment, haha.
I saw a fish I have never tried before *gasp* (and I pompously thought I had tried it all!). This little critter below is called Basa. The meat of the fish was so tender and juicy and melted in my mouth like butter. It was topped with an orange glaze and caramelized onions with a side of fresh veggies. Everything was absolute perfection. It may have been one of the best fish dishes I have had on the pier!
Melissa tried their classic Chicken Sandwich and fries. Cannot go wrong with a good classic.
As we were walking out of the restaurant, we did a double take at their dessert display. Uhm, yuhm. That’s all I can say. May need to go back A.S.A.P, and leave more room!
We perused Pier 39 and then walked down the entire Embarcadero to the Ferry Building (hello blisters)…(but the best blisters, like the “really worth it blisters” that remind me of great mems, ya feel?).
Melissa and I popped into Peet’s so she could have her first ever Peet’s Coffee. Yes, you heard right, FIRST ever. It was actually surprisingly pretty warm out, so we both had iced coffees.
We had a little impromptu photo shoot- ISN’T SHE THE CUTEST?!
Last time I was here was to visit Kate from AnkhorYou! Miss you, Chica! ❤
We soaked up the last of the views before the sun began setting and then sadly, I had to head home to finish up last minute laundry & packing.
This morning, Thanksgiving, I woke up early to run and lift weights.
I am totally out of mascara, and a couple days ago I ordered my favorite- They’re Real from Benefit on Amazon prime. I was supposed to receive it last night- but it never came in. When we were in the Uber on our way to the airport, I was trying to figure out how I was going to make a trip to Ulta before the rehearsal dinner. As soon as we made it through security, I saw a stinking BENEFIT VENDING MACHINE. Can we talk about serendipity of this situation?! Now, if you say you don’t believe in God..
After I settled down after the pure awe & elation, I announced that I was a starvin’ marvin’ and needed food now. DJ knows when this statement is made, quick action is needed before I become monster mack (ew, third person)..
I was stoked to see Mission Bar & Grill had a breakfast menu that we were still in time for. (Last time I was here was for my other good friend Lyndsay’s wedding in Pittsburgh!). I was super hungry so I downed an egg white mediterranean omelette, wheat toast, breakfast potatoes, and a Bloody Mary. I think I’ll be full for like three days after that, but tis’ thanksgiving right?
Deej tried their mimosa, but wasn’t starvin’ since he had a pretty big brekky before we left.
This breakfast definitely kept the monster at bay. And their bloody may be in second place now in my book (definitely ahead of left bank!).
We chatted a bit, then I blogged (although I am still horribly behind per usual- I promise I’ll try to catch up soon on y’alls comments and posts!), and DJ kept up with the football stats until it was time to catch our plane.
Currently, we are sitting on the plane heading back to the OH … IO. We will be arriving this evening around 8:30 pm. I can’t even explain how excited I am to see some family and friends and celebrate Clair’s wedding. It’s gonna be one of the best weekends of all time, and I better go get some beauty rest so I don’t screw up her forever pics 😉 Sending all my love and, oh my gosh, HAPPY THANKSGIVING to eat and every one… wait, each and every one of you (freudian slip up in there). If you have a thanksgiving post up please leave it in the comments. Muah!
Questions for you!
- What is your go-to splurge designer/store in the mall?
- Favorite Thanksgiving food?
- Thoughts on the T. Swift album?
If you have a link to your Turkey day post, please leave it below!
How ya doing?! Sooo I’ll be totally honest and say the struggle. is. very. real. Imma dive right on in. This past week/weekend have been hyper-emotional for me, laced with overwhelming anxiety. It has easily been the worst week I have had since beginning my job. The assignments have been tremendously heavy lately, and I feel like I’m barely staying afloat. Then applying for grad schools and random other things going on… I am down in the deep, deep dumps.(Well, why don’t ya tell us how you really feel)
I think part of it, perhaps subconsciously, is the emotions that come with November- the month I lost my Dad. Even though I tend to directly point to whatever else is going on in life as the source of the sadness, that’s probably a larger part of the equation than I acknowledge. In reality, this time of year traditionally does tend to bring up suppressed emotions and memories.
BUT, whenever I have been feeling down lately, taking this time to reflect and highlight everything good going on really has helped lift my spirits. Scripture, prayer, conversations, cards, encouragement from DJ and others… man, I do not know what I’d do without every little bit right now. DJ just keeps saying, “once you make it through this year, imagine how strong you’ll be”. Cue Kelly Clarkson!! (But for real… cliche quotes and songs have been my jam as of late— Whatever it takes- Imagine Dragons, Stronger- Kanye West……..).
My mom also keeps reminding me.. we are more than conquerors in Christ (Romans 8: 31-39). That is so powerful. Not just conquerors, more than conquerors.
Nope, I cannot do this alone. Not even gonna try because I’d be falling flat on my face.. but with Christ, I know I’ll make it because it is on His strength I rest, not my own. I know I should be spending this time working on my next application- but I don’t think I’m quite in the right head space for that yet. There have been some truly special memories in the last couple days.. and I would love to share them with you! (Plus blogging always gets me in a good mood- especially when I can share things like THIS…
OOOOk. I’m doneeee with my verbose harangue & nauseating puns. Promise. Well, for now.
Friday (11/3)…zoomed into Target post-shift to snatch some mint chocolate chip ice cream (the ultimate post cry ice cream) & an endless supply of Candy Corn. Anyone else stock up on candy corn for the rest of the year? ya? no? Jus’ me? Jus me & Doug?
Saturday (11/4) Deej and I had a date night at the row!! Wooohooooooo! Been a hot tick since a real date night for us. This was too fun. We decided to go to Yard House.
I even got to do my make-up for once in probably the last three weeks! Haaack ya!
DJ sampled their pork spare ribs with spicy bbq sauce, creamed corn & bbq pinto beans like the good midwest man he is.
I had their vegan burger (holy maloly) and side salad like the California hippie I am. This burger was flame. So tasty. I love how many options they have for vegetarians and vegans here.
Such a great meal and conversation with the hubs ❤ We both agreed that Yard House is a tad overpriced especially for the portions.. but we also agreed that meant room for dessert!
We spent sometime strolling the Row, but the weather actually cooled down quite quick, so we zoomed back home to have cookies and watch some Parks & Rec.
Can anyone guess which chocolate chip cookies these are?
Sunday (11/5) Dj went in early to Church to help with venue set up. I snatched a few extra Zzzzs and woke up for some coffee and toast with toasted vanilla coconut yogurt, chia seeds, oats, a sprinkle of stevia, and apricots.
Church outfit! It’s time for booties, finallyyyy!- I am so excited!
At Church, we found out the next location our Church is expanding to is …. *drum roll* …. ROME. Yep, ROME. Our Church is only five years old…five. The audacious faith that our Pastors have is truly incredible to roll out five campuses in five years. God’s hand is so evident and revival is happening. I have no words to explain how ecstatic we are to see this vision come to fruition and to be a small part of it.
This service was SO powerful. I am excited to share it with you guys… you can watch it here.
After Church, Deejers also helped tear down and while he was doing that I finished up some laundry then decided to run from home to the place we were meeting for brunch. The run is about four miles from the apartment, but I made it about a seven miler- it was such a beautiful day, a beautiful service, so I just listened to some uplifting music while allowing adrenaline to replace the nagging anxiety.
We met at Left Bank to enjoy their fabulous French cuisine on the twinkle light lit patio. It is one of those locations that provides the full experience, not just the food.
I visited this restaurant with my mom about a year ago (that was the last and only time we have been). She ordered a Bloody Mary, and I decided to try one since I knew I liked it the last time I tried one in Santa Cruz. This one was okay.. the Santa Cruz one was much better! (DJ snagged the bacon ;)).
I ordered their salmon hash (again). Last time I had it I remembered how absolutely savory it was, and it sounded like a perfect brunchy meal on the chilly afternoon. All I can say is …Délicieux!!!! Absoutely magnifique!
DJ ordered their sausage hash and downed that thing before either of us blinked (of course, post picture 😉 ). I assume he liked it.
We walked around the row for the second time that weekend (becauuuuse it’s the ROW!). We popped into their little boutiques and I saw this on a card…
I started tearing up. (Yes, I’m that friable emotionally right now… I actually took a pregnancy test because I am giving Niagara Falls a run for its money… and I’ve been uncharacteristically craving Diet Dr. Pepper – obviously the test was negative.. but that’s how crazy it’s been. Is that TMI? I’m a nurse.. there is really no such thing).
Monday (11/6) morning, I decided to try something different with my toast! I mixed in Matcha powder in my yogurt, topped it with oats and chia seeds and honey. It was pahretttty tasty.
In the morning I cranked out chores while listening to podcasts, snuck in a nice long run, and stopped by Tea Chansi on Main Street for their Boba, which I was craving something fieeerce.
In the evening, DJ and I went to our Church Group. Gosh, I haven’t been able to go in for FOREVER, and it was incredible to connect with everyone and see our friends I have been missing something terrible. These are the snacks I whipped us for us and my good friend Danielle made some out-of-this-world delicious homemade soup & homemade bread.
It was a much needed night discussing the message Sunday, our vision for our own lives, and praying over each other.
Today has been hard. I’ve been pacing, anxious, and not able to really focus. I go back to work tomorrow after a stretch off. I haven’t been productive AT ALL with my applications. I am going to just focus on getting in a good head space- go for a run, clean the house, blast some feel good oldies, and maybe just read a book. I thank you all for allowing me to be honest in this season, and also for being ever so patient with me. Y’all are the BEST ❤
PS. Ya all know we keep it one hundred around here…. I put up a post last night that I ended up setting to Private. If you did read it, I don’t think I was communicating very well what I meant to. I essentially was trying to say that sometimes perception is not the reality in the nurse/patient relationship, and it may be hard to see the nurse’s heart in light of the system in place and the demands placed upon us. I honestly didn’t intend to annihilate myself, but rather, speak from the heart to the patients I wish I could do more for. I also wanted to debunk the idea of a “good” vs. “bad” nurse that is often discussed (eg. often the perceived “bad nurse” on paper actually might care more than you know). I realize it came across pretty bleak, but I wrote it with the intent to be an artistic/poetic form rather than a woeful monologue. Not one of my best articulated pieces. However, I truly, truly appreciate those that reached out and left such kind words <3. (Ps. if you want to read it, I will send it privately). Ya live, ya learn, ya blog.
Annnnnnd couldn’t help but share this video because it made my whole day……
Hi, Lovies!!! I don’t have a super eventful update— but as always, I want to reflect on the hum drum and find the highlights, you know, find those doggone silver linings (they are there, I promise!). First, I am SO excited to say I have officially submitted my first grad school application. It was a DOOZY. It’s (maybe) my first choice, but I am very confused about the whole decision. I’m applying to schools across the country (and many online schools that pair you with a nearby hospital). I just pray that God will make it clear where we should be. I love California; I love it so dearly, and I love our life here. But we also LOVE exploration and when else will we have this flexibility to just get up and go (cough cough… kids…..), so who knows… but I don’t know that we can imagine leaving here yet. I don’t know! I guess we will see! Nothing will happen until next fall, so I’m hoping all things will just fall in place the way they should.
Just a little context, I’m sitting here this Sunday evening with my mint chocolate chip ice cream, a glass of cabernet sauvignon, and NYC Housewives playing on the laptop (Uhm, Aviva- take a chill pill girlfran’). I don’t have the GRE or November application deadline hanging over my head (although I have about three more coming up in November- March), but for today, we will relish in the moment. DJ has the World Series playing in the background, and things feel actually OK at this second.
I think we left off right after the GRE. I went back to work for a few days, and DJ headed to Ohio! I wish I could have went back, but work owns me. I am thankful he had such a fantastic weekend with his family, but I am honestly a bit jealous because I miss them all terribly.
On Saturday, October 21st, my dear fran Sara, (you may remember this chica from here, here, and here), stopped by to hangout and catch up while DJ was spending his last day in Ohio. We decided to go to Steins for an appetizer and a drink to catch up!
The waiter brought us the cutest little mini beer mugs to try their featured sour flavor. It was cute, but wayyy too sour for our liking. Plus neither of us are big beer guys.
We tried a recommended featured cocktail with capurro pisco (not sure what that is), but it ruined the flavor. We were not fans of this cocktail. However, their beer garden cooler was delish and refreshing. Highly recommend if you end up finding yourself here.
Also, highly, HIGHLY recommend their truffle fries- TO. DIE. FOR. Perhaps the best truffle fries ever. I think the only other ones that contest were the ones in Santa Cruz.
ANNNDDD Sara surprised me with Foxy Lady (that’s literally her name) (you may remember her from this post). I was ecstatic. I just love this pup so much.
Sara cracks me up when she has Foxy do her dance.
When Foxy wants her tummy scratched in the hallway, she will not take no for an answer.
Cutest little pumpkin ❤
We hung out, laughed, had an aggressive battle with a Talenti gelato mint chocolate chip pint (if you follow me on Instagram @ __mackenzie.marie__ you probably saw) and chatted until about 11 pm.
We literally wrestled with a Talenti container for probably twenty minutes. We tried EVERYTHING from knives, to rubber twist jar openers, and finally rubber oven mitts….it was a scene. Beware the Talenti.
Anywho, It was such nice, much needed girl time!!!
On Sunday October 22nd, I woke up bright eyed and bushy, but realized I didn’t have yogurt for my toast. I panicked, but no worries- there is a Target just down the road. I picked up my coffee mug (didn’t even bother putting it in a tumbler) and headed to Target to snag some yog. I know all the workers, considering I stop by there nearly every day, so they didn’t blink at me showing up disheveled with my half finished cup of coffee and zombie affect. It happens more than I probably should admit. After I was all caffeinated, I zoomed to pick Deej from the airport!
When we came home, DJ had to whip off to work for a couple hours. When he came home, we decided we were in the mood for some lunchy brunchy food. We have been wanting to try out the local Bob Evans (Aka Holder’s Country Inn). It received great reviews on Yelp, and it sounded like the perfect Sunday afternoon meal.
I had their veggie scramble with egg whites, peppers, mushrooms, salsa, and avocado. Every ingredient was immensely fresh and satisfied the craving to a tee.
DJ tried their pancakes… now, if you follow along, DJ is on the hunt for the best pancake. So far the best ones we have found in the area are Bobbie’s. They have yet to top the Bellagio’s from Las Vegas, or his mom’s (DUH!).
He also had the country fried steak with eggs. Doesn’t get more Bob Evans-ey than this, folks.
After we returned home, I decided to take advantage of the glorious day and go for a nice jog outside.
The leaves are changing, the colors are vibrant, and the weather is finally cooling its jets (it has been ridiculously hot here). When I came back home I whipped up my new absolute favorite meal. I was going to wait until a Friday Faves, but I can’t. It’s too good!
My all time favorite potato is the sweet purple white potato (purple outside, white inside). It actually has more antioxidants than a regular orange sweet potato, and I swear tastes better. You can find different varieties- some have a white colored inside, and some have a vibrant purple.
I stir fry together white onion, mushrooms, Lightlife tempeh, and eggplant with liquid aminos.
Once it’s all caramelized and the sweet potato is cooked to tenderness, I stuff the tater! So easy, so absolutely delicious, satisfying, and high in protein/complex carbs.
And the caprese salads are still going strong for DJ!
He and I have not been able to do many of the “fall activities” this year ( cue melancholy soundtrack), but I have been listening to a plethora of crime podcasts, have eaten an embarrassing amount of candy corn, and we watched Cropsey together on Amazon prime over the course of a few days. SOooOOO sort of taking advantage, yah?
I even found this wine to accompany the documentary because it seemed appropro. DJ always laughs at how excited I get about the “idea” of something.. I like things to be themed, anyone else feel meh?! Why just watch a crime documentary when you can watch a crime documentary with CRIME wine on the heels of listening to crime podcasts in the midst of Halloween hype?! PS. Documentary was tremendous.
And I mean these socks are basically me after a couple shifts so… had to invest..
We both worked Monday October 23rd, but the 24th I picked up my bridesmaid dress for the November wedding (EEEK!!!!), and then later in the day grabbed a massage (much needed). There was a $30 off coupon online for a super nice salon in Sunnyvale. I jumped on it, and enjoyed every stinking second of that massage.
After the massage, I stopped by Safeway to pick up my Ice Cream (Oatmeal chocolate chip cookie dough….. it says limited edition but I’m convinced I am keeping them single-handedly in stock). I also stumbled upon this RXBar. Mint chocolate chip you say?!? Yesss sirrr-eeeee.
I still prefer the Chocolate sea salt, but I see they now have pumpkin and maple. Uhm, yuhm. I need to hunt those down!
On Wednesday, the 25th, and Thursday the 26th, I buckled down on my application. I spent the full days slaving over that booger. It was in-stinking-tense. I definitely needed a break to clear my head… this called for an extra long run, which turned into an impromptu half marathon. #procrastinationnation.
And on the heels of any long run, candy corn is EXTRA necessary.
Later in the day I stocked up on groceries for the next few days from Sprouts Farmers Market. This is one of my favorite grocery stores around.
^^This is as close as I got to a pumpkin patch this year.
In the evening, I decided I needed some sushh. It has been a hot minute!!! I went for my go-to sunset roll with unagi, ahi tuna, and lemon with a side of wakame salad and extra ginger.
I worked Friday and Saturday. Friday morning was bad, bad, bad. BAD BADDDDD. First, I was out of coffeee (nough said, right?). I drove to work early so I could make a cup, and when I checked my phone, it said my time off request for the wedding the end of November was NOT approved. A few months ago I had a face to face conversation with my manager confirming that it wouldn’t be a problem. So now.. I panicked, the anxiety set in, I couldn’t see straight. I started bawling in the bathroom before my shift. I quickly messaged her explaining I had already bought the plane ticket and told the Bride I could be in the wedding based on our conversation. I spent the whole morning sick to my stomach, holding back tears, and gritting my teeth through my assignments. Halfway through the day she e-mailed back saying it was approved, she just had to go back and adjust the way it was formatted in our system. I have never been so relieved. I cried again— tears of relief. I was a MESS. I would not have made it through the morning without the support from my family who sent scripture and prayed over the situation when I frantically filled them in before the shift began. Thank you Jesus for answering that prayer. I still take deep breaths just thinking about it.
But on a much brighter note….. .on Saturday the 21st, DJ headed to his family’s for a costume party. I was bummin’ I missed it this year. You can check out the post from last year if you would like 😉 Our costumes were certainly something! Haha. This year DJ was Recyclops from the Office! He nailed it. The rest of the family’s costumes were amazing too. I wish I could have been there to see them in person!!
Sunday (the 22nd) I accidentally slept in wayyyyy too late after working all weekend. Whoops. I can’t interact with anyone the day after working a few in a row and my body cannot physically function. I get in a fuzzy funk from the exhaustion and move the pace of a sloth. I decided to wake up my body with a run before finishing up my application.
It was perfectly brisk, with cloudy skies, and the weather finally exuded those autumnal feelz ❤ I love LOVE cloudy Sundays. Sundays in the fall are the ultimate relaxing day after Church, naps, football, and candles. A cloudy day just enhances the whole experience and I feel like “gives me permission” to be lazy.
One of the houses along my run had a little garden out front and was growing butternut squash(es), squash? I think just squash. Can you say #GOALS?!
I also saw this beautiful flower and couldn’t help but snag a picture. Is it weird that I thought of a Punnett square when I saw the unusual distribution of colors?! I will always be a bio nerd at heart.
For dinner, we tried the Daiya vegan Margherita pizza. Not only does DJ love the Vegan burgers, but now is on board with the vegan pizza. He said it was easily just as tasty as a regular one.
And that’s a wrap! As I finish up this post, it’s actually morning now, I am sipping coffee, eating a protein bar and my toast, and for the first time in a LONG time I don’t have something hanging over my head for the day. I am gonna finish up my breakfast, go for a run, answer some blog comments, and read Harry Potter until my eyeballs fall out. Woohooo!!!!!
Happy Thursday, ya’ll (well, Thursday by the time anyone reads this- although it is currently Wednesday evening)! How’s it kickin’?
We said goodbye to one of my favorite charge nurses last week; I was super sad to see her go 😦 (This send off banner was too funny not to share though!)
DJ’s birthday was October 6th!!! I can’t believe I am just shooting this post up now. Sheesh! Anywho, we had a gift card to Open Table that was put to phenomenal use at the local Forbes Mill in Los Gatos!
This sweet man.. I would usually not pull my phone out at places this nice to snap food pics, but he convinced me that it was just us two and it wasn’t a big deal…. I obliged pretty easily 😉
We started with the giant prawn cocktail. There is nothing better than a fresh shrimp/prawn appetizer. It’s easily our go-to!
We also tried their crab cakes! They were tasty, no denying it…yet a far cry from the cakes we had in Baltimore.
I also had their generously sized beets and macadamia crusted goat cheese salad. It was one of the best I have ever had, and it’s so simple to throw together! I definitely will be recreating this at home.
DJ tried the ULTIMATE surf and turf with a combo of waygu and lobster tail. I sampled the waygu because it’s supposed to be the highest quality of meat, and I couldn’t let the opportunity pass….. butttt I had an aversion to the flavor. After not eating meat for about four years it didn’t do anything for me.
We also dabbled in a side of creamed spinach.. if it’s on the menu you know we are jumping on it! We absolutely loved it. I still think the creamed spinach from Ben and Jack’s in New York is the best of all time, but this is not far behind.
And I couldn’t pass up the epic, rave-worthy, award-winning scallops….. I think the only ones that contest are Farallon’s in San Francisco. Gosh, just the thought is making my mouth water all over the darn laptop. They were served over forbidden rice- a new obsession of mine officially. Has anyone had this magical grain?! It’s ah-may-zin!
I could go on for days and days about how amazing DJ is. He is a man of God, handsome, humble, hilarious, loyal as they come, my rock, courageous, intelligent, witty, intuitive, hard working, dedicated, and genuine. Those qualities just scratch the surface. I don’t know why God blessed me with such an incredible man, but I won’t argue with His provision 😉
The days are all kind of blurring together from the rest of the last few weeks. I do want to share of my favorite snap shots from random runs and of course, even more random pics of all the foooooodddd we’ve been scarfin’!
The fall blooms are just as gorgeous as the spring blooms!!! Even though we don’t have the leaves change like back in the good ol’ midwest, we still have the beautiful array of flowers to admire in this season.
Unfortunately, my autumn runs had to come to a quick halt when the wildfires started last week. It smelled pungent with smoke in the hospital (which is closer to the fires than our apartment is), and then eventually the air around our home was saturated with the unescapable burning scent. In the morning when we woke up our eyes itched, our throats scratched.. it was surreal. We just keep praying for everyone affected by these horrible fires. I truly hope the madness stops soon and mother earth cools her jets.
If you would like to help, please visit this link with multiple options you can contribute!
Back to the random food mess… I’m still on the egg kick for suure. (I put some of the leftover creamed spinach on a piece of toast and then the egg on top, good heavens).
I also have been CRAVING a Whole Foods trip. Since they have always been ugly pricey, I usually only go every once in a while. However, now that they are bought by Amazon their prices have gone down tremendously!
Using many of the ingredients from whole foods, I made a fall salad that I’m ridiculously obsessed now. I was inspired by Stein’s Beer Garden’s salad. It contains jicama, roasted butternut squash, quinoa, light craisins, and I use a homemade apple cider vinaigrette (with some apple cider, a touch of oil, and a touch of sugar).
I think ya’ll get the point. Haha.
Another thing I, and the rest of everyone, has been loving is spaghetti squash! Ugh, it is SO good. I have been mixing it with vegan butter, vegan meatless crumbles, and a touch of parmesan on top. So easy, so scrumptious. I know many of you out there have tremendous recipes for the spag-squa, please share em’ with me!
And I’ve been whipping up a lot of capreses for DJ. This is one of his favorite snacks and the heirloom tomatoes were on sale at Whole fuuds and, oh man, were they ever fresh!
I’ve been decompressing from the studying with lots and lots of running. I have been mixing in Insanity workouts, but as soon as the smoke settled and the air cleared I booked it back outside.
I’ll just slide in another picture of morning toast with dried apricots, chia seeds, oats, high protein plain greek yogurt, and stevia.
Something else I’ve been devouring lately is smoked salmon on pita with caramelized onions and a fried or poached egg. This has been hitting the spot and has been a great high protein/healthy “comfort food” during this super stressful time.
I took my GRE yesterday …
I crammed for about two and a half weeks in my time off work for the exam, and just didn’t score as well as I would have liked on the quantitative. Algebra and me do not exactly tango in the moonlight. Ask me to tell you the symptoms of Moya Moya or the proper medication to treat tuberculosis..we can chat. But I don’ t have the faintest idea what in the Westeros math has to do with it. It’s not even real math. Like I get 1+1=2… or me +math= disaster….. but I will be the first to admit I do not know how to solve “If Tommy had five oranges and Shelly had 12 and 2 were taken away and thrown at a cactus, why is the square root of the Eiffel tower a bag of potatoes?!”
*Deep breaths, deep breaths*
*It’s not about the problem, it’s about the procccessss*
I get that people study for a looong time for this, but only one of the schools I’m applying to out of five require it. I just don’t think it’s worth it to slave over the study material when majority of MSN-FNP admissions don’t require it, and the app deadline for the one that does is November 1st. (Which is actually great because then I don’t even have the option to retake it for now). Now I’m rambling. *clearing throat*. Oh well, que sera sera.
HOW ARE YOU?!? I am jumping off the crazy train now, and heading to bed before an early morning wake up call. Muah!
Cassie at Cassie’s Cookery on October 17th. Sweet girl, Happy birthday. You have changed my life more than you know, and you inspire me every single day. I am SO beyond thankful for ya, sweet thang. You are strong, loyal, empathetic, lovely, beautiful, and full of God’s grace and goodness. You exude His love more than most I know. Our conversations are always close to my heart, and I love you to absolute pieces, sista! ❤ I hope your birthday was beyond perfect and you know what a treasure and gift you are to this earth.
PS. Cassie has an amazing cookbook out! If you wanna check it out go HERE. I know I am getting my copy ASAP! 🙂
Top a’ the mornin’ to ya! Holy smokes… over two weeks have passed since an update post. I have a feeling this may be the single most random update post I do too. Plus I have some semi-monumental, semi-ambiguous updates for ya’ll regarding our future!
So, I’m sitting here this Saturday morning nomming down on some yogurt toast, drinking coffee, and have some old NYC Housewives playing in the background. I feel guilty though because I should totally be studying.
Yep! You heard that right- I am currently cramming for the GRE because I am hoping to go back to grad school next year to continue on in pursuing my dream of becoming a nurse practitioner. (I’ll talk more about this decision in another post sometime!). I have spent every little ounce of my free time (besides the moments I share here today), studying parabolas and words like “promulgate”. After the last 48 hours of the intensive neuro-close observation room, I am treating myself to a solid morning of blogging and horrible, no good, melt my brain television.
Rewinding (zrrrrr) back to Saturday, September 23rd. I went to a girls’ pool day with some of my great friends from Church. We snacked and chatted and fully relaxed. It was wonderful.
In the evening, DJ and I headed to Eureka for a date night!!! WOOHOOO!!!
I had their protein chopped salad with romaine//kale//quinoa medley//roasted beets//red onion//carrot//bean trio//feta//sunflower seeds//and red wine vinaigrette.
DJ had their Bison Burger with bacon-infused jalapeno jam//charbroiled tri-color peppers//grilled onion//and smoked mozzarella.
We left dinner with more than satisfied tums and walked around Main Street. I love their flowers and trees elegantly lit with lights year round.
Sunday, September 24th after church I had an unexpected encounter and experience that would dance in my mind for the days to come. Then I came back after a long run and studied, studied, studied while DJ watched football. I love LOVE studying on the couch while football plays in the background and fall candles are lit. It reminds me of our first year of marriage back in our Indiana Toho, bring on the nostalgic feels!
Monday/Tuesday 25th-26th we both worked. Those were two of the hardest shifts I have ever had. I won’t get into it, but it resulted in my hiding behind a pyxis machine hyperventilating and covering the floor in tears. (We can’t leave the NCOR room, so I literally was trying to hide from my patients so they couldn’t see me cry). But then I had a few great shifts later in the week that made up from them. Rollaaa costa! (Ohio Players reference, anyone?!)
On another note, my hair has lost it’s umph lately. I think the stress of this year is taking quite a toll on me physically, especially lately. Naturally, I have to add to the stress by trying to apply to grad schools and study for a massive entrance exam while working on my neurosurg. research project. (eye roll). Lol. I feel like I’m epically failing at life right now- the other day I realized we were out of toilet paper, and I started crying (there’s a tear trend here) because when you hit the level where you can’t even keep on top of the TP stock at home are you doing anything right?!
Anyway- I needed some serious hair help. One of my coworkers recommended a place called Limon Salon in San Jose. I have had a hard time finding a great hair place here, but I think I finally have a winner!
On Wednesday September 27th, I decided to go for more of an ash blonde for the fall with a balayage to the roots. This way I can go longer without having to get the highlights redone and nurse my hair back to health! (Maybe not “nurse” it back isn’t the correct word.. since I’m pretty sure nursing is what sucked the life out of it… harharhar). I sat in the chair and studied vocab while getting this bird’s nest taken care of, and was super happy with the results!
In the evenings lately, the weather has been the perfect temperature outside for a late night run. After work, I need to run to cope with the day. Having DJ tag along has been wonderful because it allows us to catch up and still get that stress out.
With the change of seasons comes the change in cravings! For breakfast most of last week and this week I have been alternating between sweet potatoes, avocado, spinach and an egg or my toast and yogurt combo. I actually don’t like the yolk of eggs very much at all, but for some reason I have been craving them lately. Anyone know why this is? (I think it might be the sulfites or something- I know I have some nutritionists out there!) So strange.
I vegan meal prepped on Thursday September 28th for the week with roasted veggies (eggplant, carrots, onion, mushrooms, and peppers in garlic olive oil), roasted butternut squash, cauliflower vegan mashed potatoes, and quinoa. For lunch or dinner I mix up a combo of all the fixings with either salad, a bean burger, or meatless crumbles, hummus, and pita bread. I can’t wait to re-prep all this for the next week to come. It’s all such yummy autumn comfort food, but super(food) healthy.
September 29th– Study study study.
September 30th- October 1st– Work.
October 2-4th: Study, Study, Study BUT………
She moved to Arizona as a traveling occupational therapist, but made a pit stop back here for a couple days! Gosh, I missed her something horrible. I took an Uber to Campbell to the local Aqui to meet them. It was SO crazy because the guy picked me up in a BLUE TACOMA! Blue Tacoma was one of the songs Russel Dickerson premiered on the very first time the three of us hung out. SERENDIPITOUS. We could not let this moment pass without a picture.
We headed into the epic Aqui (once again, how did I just find out about this place?!) and ordered drinks and apps. Dani tried their Tito’s Strawberry swirl, I tried the carlitos cadillac margarita, and Tammy also tried a mini margarita. Their drinks are fabulous. It’s what they’re known for, and they never disappoint!
We also all split the appetizer platter with avocado Dip, Hummus and Black Bean Dip with chips. #Addictive.
How it works: EVERYTHING is a flight on the menu from the drinks to the food. And every single item looked too darn delicious too.
We finally settled on their mac and cheese flight after drooling over the whole menu. It was SUCH fun and I can’t wait to go back to try more of their items.
It’s such a genius idea for a restaurant.
Last night, DJ and I went out for his birthday!!! I will include a post separately to talk about where we went 🙂
I hope you all are having a wonderful start to your Autumn! I am back to hitting the books now. I apologize to all my friends and family for being super MIA this past few weeks and being the worst at returning texts and calls. I’m also so sorry (and in some serious withdrawal) since I haven’t been able to catch up on ya’lls blogs in a while too. I’d much rather be keeping in touch and seeing what everyone is up to rather than trying to figure out this high school geometry and memorizing the circumference of a circle. BUT it will be my reward to catch up when this is all over! LOVE YOU ALL.
I have a story that I have oscillated between sharing or not for a couple weeks now. But this story is something that I have grown and learned from tremendously. Hence, I think it may be important to record so I do not forget these lessons that have been on my heart.
After Church two Sundays ago, I walked downstairs into our lobby to head out for a run. There was a group of people surrounding a forty-something year old man who was sitting on the ground, back supported against the wall, barefooted, eyes closed, and head rolling. Immediately, those nurse instincts kicked in full force. Once I confirmed 911 had been called I sat next to the man and began a rapid assessment. He was conscious, AOx4, but had slurred speech and not able to keep his eyes open. He was showing signs of tardive dyskinesia. He told us the drugs he had just took and clearly was overdosing on benzos before our eyes. I was just praying the EMTs showed up with some Romazicon soon if he were to lose consciousness. I was itching to get a blood sugar, a pulse ox, an EKG… but all I could offer was my presence. I asked him about how he was feeling; he told me he didn’t want to live anymore and was afraid he was going to kill himself. He had come downstairs into the lobby to get help. When the people around me asked if I was a nurse and I confirmed, I noted the relief in their eyes. I felt I didn’t deserve this trust put in me, and suddenly realized the responsibility I had in this situation I had stumbled upon. Yet, the training and experience I had was nearly robotic. I now understand why they say nursing is a calling; it’s knit into the fabric of who you are at all times, on or off duty. I assured him we would stay with him until help came. I think it was what he wanted at this moment. He expressed such gratitude. Finally, the team came and he was off to the hospital in a flash.
Something that has loomed in my thoughts is the fact that he was a resident in our apartment- only one floor below us. I probably had rode the elevator with him before, I probably had passed him by the mailboxes or in the parking garage. Yet, I had no idea that there was someone only a floor below fighting for the will to survive. While I propped my feet up on the couch and turned on some silly reality show, someone a floor below was counting pills. “How many might it take?” he contemplated. While I counted the stressors in this year to come, someone below was counting if the stressors of his life were worth living another day.
It woke me up a bit- the reality that we don’t know what those around us are truly going through. It’s cliched, I realize, yet it carries a visceral weight. If we recognized that every single person we encounter is going through something, has a story, has a painful anecdote that formed them or is currently molding them would we all be kinder? Would we smile a bit more as we pass perfect strangers or look the cashier in the eye when we are checking out? I understand that we can’t solve everyone’s problems in this world, but what if we all lived more intentionally. Maybe taking our heads out of our phones and our eyes off our own lives for a second and simply asking, “How are you?” or “How was your day?” to the stranger next to us on the subway, the train, or in line at a grocery store can make all the difference. It’s simply saying to another human- “I see you, you matter, and you are not invisible” that can make or break a person’s day, their life. I know I’ve been there. I’m still there many days. I have battled a long stream of mental health battles my whole life, yet most of the people in my life have no idea. Why didn’t I realize this sooner- that many others probably aren’t wearing their grief and heartache on their sleeve as well?
This man just wanted to be seen. He came downstairs and sat against a wall in the lobby because he knew he would be seen. How can we see the pain around us if we refuse to look up and see? I know we have heard this probably a hundred times, I’m not bringing any type of sage wisdom to the table, but for some reason for the first time this idea, this reality, hit home in a new way. The plague of our society is the acceptance of facade and the taboo of authenticity. Our interactions with one another may be short, but it doesn’t mean they can’t be meaningful. Our words may be few, but it doesn’t mean they can’t be powerful. Our own time may be precious, but it doesn’t mean it can’t be shared. I pray that Jesus will give me His eyes to see those around me the way He does, that he will give me the courage to ask the tough questions, the patience to listen, and the heart to love.
And to the man the floor below, I need you to know, you are loved more than you can imagine. You are worthy. You are the most valuable. There is One who sees you and knows you better than anyone ever could. There is someone who knows your pain so intimately, and He died for it so you don’t have to. There is someone who conquered the grave so you can live. You are never truly alone. I pray for you each day, and I pray that our paths cross again.
Hey y’all! Happy FriYAYYY! I actually get this weekend off too, so I’m pretty excited about that 🙂 DJ has been in Tahoe since Tuesday for work, and I miss him something fierce, butttt we’ll get to see each other this weekend! Without further adieu…. Here are this Friday’s Friday Faveeesss!
- The yogurt/toast is backkkk!!!! I am tucking away my avocado smoothie recipe from the summer and bringing back my yogurt/toast combo. I use either Dave’s or Ezekiel Cinnamon Raisin bread topped with Fage yogurt, low sugar craisins, stevia, and granola. It’s so stinking gooood.
2. Pumpkin decor!!!! I picked these little punkins up last year and shared them with y’all then, and I was stoked to pull these back out from storage and blow off the dust! DJ said my autumnal excitement is a bit premature, but I say there is no such thing. Where is y’alls favorite place to find home holiday decor? Mine couldn’t be more predictable: Homegoods and Tarjay.
3. I’m trying my hand at gardening for the first time ever with eco-culture herbs! My Aunt Terry (who was here nearly a year ago, SERIOUSLY, how has it been so long?!?) gifted these to us, and I am obsessed. These are little planters that you can actually plant indoors in the natural window light or outside. I am currently growing basil, cilantro, and parsley. Next I’ll be growing sweet marjoram, sage & garlic chives. They are so easy to use, and gardening (my albeit baby step gardening) is such a cathartic process. Stayyyy tuned!
4. Just ….fall.. Can fall be a Friday Fave? I say yes. Leaves are falling (or one fell) & autumn is thick in the air (well I got a whiff). While out on my run yesterday I spotted these gorgeous Japanese maples & vibrant bright colorful landscaping. **Side note: I can identify many leaves after a biology project in high school- we had to identify tons of leaves as part of a final project, and weirdly, most have stuck with me. So if you need a leaf identified, send it over, lol.** **side side note : Ironically, I can’t identify flowers for crap though 😂**
5. If you are a nurse, you have to follow nurse abnormalities on Instagram and also her blog here. Danielle has a real talent for encouraging new nurses as they begin this challenging career. She articulates phenomenally well about the realities and true abnormalities of being a nurse from the good the bad the weird, the hilarious and the absolutely beautiful. Recently her post to new grads hit home big time for me.
6. The Black Tux! Ok, so I’m pretty bummed I just discovered this site, as it would have been SUPER ideal for our wedding. I know several of you are engaged or will be soon, so I figured I’d share this. Basically at Black Tux, you can rent tuxes/suits for wayyyyyyy less than typical rental/retail stores while also getting free shipping (and free size exchanges). We had groomsmen from several different states, so this would have made things a whole lot easier for us. Also, they are partnered with Nordstrom, so you know it’s gonna be high quality. If you know someone who needs to rent a tux, this company is definitely worth checking out!
7. I promised I’d share the sermon that impacted me big time last weekend… you can find it on Itunes podcast.
8. WINDIANS!!!!! I just have to throw in here that I am so beyond proud of my Indians ❤️❤️❤️ 22 game streak, baby!!!! Even though the streak is over, I am still so excited for my home team!
9. Welp, we gave in! We done did it. We finally got the Target Red Card after much contemplation. DJ and I aren’t very keen on credit cards for stores, so we chose the debit option (zero risk involved!). Every time you use it you get 5% off. It’s added up a ton. I highly HIGHLY recommend this if you shop a decent amount at Target, or even if you don’t shop that often- it’s still 5%!
10. Last, but not least, the grocery store was having a huge wine sale, and I decided to grab this bottle for super cheap of Handsome Devil. I am not picky at all about wine, but I do love a dry, yet non bitter cab. This one hits the mark at such a small price!
Have a TREMENDOUS weekend, y’all!
Hey guys! I am SO stoked to share this post with you all! My dear friend from college came to visit all the way from ninder nanders (nickname DJ and I use for Indiana). Man, oh man, I missed this girl. We haven’t seen each other since graduation last year. That’s just too much time I do say. On Monday I worked all day, and after the relief of knowing I was in the clear, I cleaned out my closet and went through clothes to give to good will/ take to Plato’s. Love me some cash for clothes, ya feel? I found some shirts that I was deciding if I wanted to give away, but actually ended up liking them now and kept them after not trying them on for years.
Sarah arrived at about 1230 at Tuesday at the San Jose airport right down the road! We headed to SF to explore the city. I felt so bad because this was Sarah’s first time here, and we could not see the doggone Golden Gate. I have never seen such dense fog before! It was crazy, but still somberly beautiful.
She’s so flipping cute I can’t even take it. COME BACK, SAR!
After popping over to the non-existent Golden Gate, we went to the loyal, fog-resistant Ghirardelli square. Chocolate will never let you down.
We grabbed the free samples of the pumpkin spice milk chocolate (uhm, yum) and then explored. The inside of the Ghirardelli shop is so neat- it has a very 50s/60s-esque vibe, and you can actually watch the chocolate churning which fulfills my childhood Charlie-and-The-Chocolate factory dreams.
They are known for their massive, and delicious, sundaes, but it was a wee bit chilly out for us to grab one. If you want to see pictures of the sundaes in all their glory, you can check out our experience here!
BUT what can warm ya up better than a nice glass of wine? There is a cute little winery, Wattle Creek Winery, in Ghirardelli square that I’ve actually wanted to try for some time now. I was excited when Sarah suggest we stop for some- told yaaaaa- we twins.
It’s super unique and has eclectic vibes. It has a mish-mash of decor and colors that could easily come off as tacky, but somehow the way it all pulls together it is nothing but modern class.
This is a picture below of their wattle leaf, learn something new everyday!
After hanging out in the square, we headed down to the pier.
Naturally, I had to show Sar Fisherman’s Wharf and the famous sea lions.
They were being super lazy for us. Prolly grieving the fact that the Golden Gate up and vanished like the rest of us.
We caught glimpses of Alcatraz and then headed down the pier to the shops. If you know me, you know I have a weird love for sock shops.
We finished the walk down to the Ferry building and then turned around to walk back while soaking in the views along the Embarcadero.
We were pretty ravenous after all the walking and decided to try Crab House on the pier. I have never been here before, but the bibs drew us in (you’ll see what I mean ;)).
The crab house can be described in one word: FUN. It is decked out in themed crabs everywhere you turn, the staff is incredibly friendly, the views of the bay were fantastic, and the food. OH. THE. FOOOOOD!
We decided to split a few different items from the menu to get a varied taste of everything. This calamari was the bomb, it was the definition of flavorful and perfectly crispy. 🤤
We also tried their crab chowder. We chowed down like we were from out of town. It was insanely delish.😋
And, of course, we couldn’t pass up their iron roasted mussels and shrimps. Holy maloly. The word tasty has a new definition for me after these little suckers.
THE BIBS! Now do you understand why we had to come here?
We actually survived the whole meal without getting anything on them (I can’t believe it either), and ended up taking some bibs for the road. What didn’t we take with us? Oh, the food, because we demolished every last lick.
Walking back to the car we were unable to escape the mouth-watering scent of baking bread wafting from the Boudin bakery. As we passed the window we noticed an alligator made of pieces of bread.
When we came home we chatted on the balcony sippin’ on wine and eating some ice cream.
In the morning we went to (if you are a long time follower you can probably guess)- Bill’s!!!!!! The actual best breakfast place in the whole world.
We split one of their mimosas (it’s pretty essential for a brunch at Bill’s).
Sarah had their cinnamon roll french toast. Oh. my. word. It was insanely good. Like there are actually no words to describe the deliciousness that is their cinnamon roll french toast.
I usually get their Greek omelette, but this time I had their Salmon Benedict with a bagel, capers, onions, smoked salmon, and poached eggs. It hit the spot. I think I muffled out a “mmmm mm” with every bite. It’s easily the best salmon benedict I have ever had.
And, of course, I had to show Sar around the Row after!
At about 1215 I dropped her off at the airport. It was a hard goodbye, but I was tremendously thankful for the short time we had together. It meant so much that she made the time to come see me & the Bay!
This morning (Thursday morning) I stopped by Peet’s to grab a cafe au lait before my residency class. It was super nice to see everyone from my cohort, and also nice to have a class day vs. in hospital day.
Hope you all have a beautiful weekend! I will be working all weekend long, but living vicariously through you!
HEY GUYS! Wow, a ton has happened since my last post, and I am stoked to update you all! I am going to whip out another post soon about my friend from college who visited, but I want to do a quick six month nursing reflection realz quick for my own archives.
**If you want to read my last nursing update, hit up dis link **
So, as you know, I had my meeting on Monday for my six month evaluation and end of the probation period since beginning this nursing gig in March. Most people said if we haven’t had any prior “conversations” we were probably in the clear, but being me, every little thing I’ve done wrong since beginning this job just danced around in my mind. When I went into the office, the response I received from my managers, patients, and coworkers shocked me- it was so uplifting, encouraging, and positive. She quickly said she was excited to promote me to a clinical nurse II (Eeeek!). Like I said- I was shocked. Shocked.
This was tremendously different than the voice that I’ve been feeding myself this whole time. If she had asked, I could have given her a list a mile long of everything I have done wrong, everything I need to improve on, everything I’m too slow at accomplishing, everything I don’t fully understand, and every failure I’ve had since beginning.
I have a bad, bad habit of beating myself up over everything. Can I get an amen from my fellow perfectionists out there?
For instance, I could have several truly beautiful and meaningful interactions with my patients, but that one patient I feel I fail is the one I dwell on. I could do twenty things right, but that one little mistake is what keeps me up at night. That’s called negativity, ladies and gentleman. And wowza, after realizing how much I wallowed in that negativity, this truth hit me bold in the face: I am a hypocrite. Allow me to explain. Just the other day I was sitting with one of my patients that was having some negative self talk. I sat down next to this elderly man, and presented him the positive side of every negative thing he had just said. Then I grabbed a water bottle at his bedside that was serendipitously half full and held it out in front of him. I looked at him, this man who I couldn’t get to crack a smile the whole day and said, “Now, is this half full or half empty?”. He looked at me, totally catching on to what I was doing, and reluctantly he broke a small smile. After a long few seconds of deciding whether he should appease his dorky nurse, he finally said, “Half full”.
Yup, there is always a half full. I was just missing it, and apparently I was not living what I was preaching.
This whole evaluation process helped me realize several things. First, the perspective I have had of myself as a nurse is quite different than how those around me perceive me, but more importantly- how my patients perceive me. The feedback from them means more to me than anything else, and the fact that it was all positive meant the world. I know I have failed them at times, and some days on the unit I am simply too busy to provide the emotional support I wish I could. However, seeing that it’s been all positive feedback means somehow I am still conveying I care, even when I feel that I’m failing. Second, I learned it’s
actually okay necessary to be kind and forgive myself. Every mistake I have made up to this point has only made me a better nurse. The inability to let go of these “less than perfect” circumstances only creates turmoil in myself, it’s a destructive seed that benefits no one and manifests in hair loss and a chronically upset stomach. Ain’t nobody got time for that! Soo, I am choosing to forgive myself and offer myself grace. Third, although it’s super important to learn from the mistakes and look for constant improvement, it’s also okay to acknowledge when I do something well. I need to start realizing that I am competent, because this will translate into confidence, allowing my patients to have more confidence in me.
This has been hands down the hardest six months of my life, and I have spent far too much reflecting on my many, many failures. So now I will take time to reflect on the successes. (This is strictly for me to be able to reflect and document my growth as a nurse- not at all in a sense to come off braggadocious because, let’s be real, I could write five novels on how I screw up daily).
Thinking back to when I started on the neuro. unit six months ago, the growth and learning that has taken place really blows my mind (pun totally intended). I cannot take for granted this opportunity and experience, and I reflect with a thankful heart despite the countless tears, heartache, anxiety, and well, insanity.
Six months ago I could not interpret lab values or interpret what was important, but now I’m managing critical labs and hanging potassium like it ain’t no thing. Six months ago I couldn’t titrate a lumbar drain or an EVD, now I can work in the neuro close observation room managing a couple at once. Six months ago I couldn’t perform a thorough neuro exam or identify a patient stroking or developing ICP, now I feel confident calling stroke codes and requesting stat CT scans. Six months ago I wouldn’t have the first clue in knowing how to manage a patient’s blood pressure using only PRNs, but now I will bring a BP down from 170 to 130 in less than 30 minutes. Six months ago I couldn’t do discharge teaching or admissions, now I am doing multiple at once (slowly, but surely!). Six months ago I didn’t know what to report to a doctor, but now I know am making recommendations. Six months ago I had no clue how to turn a patient or reposition them, now I dare you to get a pressure ulcer on my watch. Six months ago I was terrified of IV pumps, now I titrate lidocaine and heparin drips. Six months ago I had no clue how to work with PT, OT, SLP, or case management, but now we coordinate care together daily. Six months ago I didn’t know how to collect spec. gravs or draw blood from central lines, now I’m managing DI and SIADH with every hour Is and Os and shooting that blood up in a tube to lab is oh so satisfying. Six months ago I would shake in my scrubs at the idea of changing a PICC dressing, now it’s one of my favorite nursing skills. Six months ago, I was too emotionally and physically exhausted most days to do anything outside of work, now I am making plans with friends again. Six months ago, I didn’t take the time to stop and pray with my patients, now I try to offer whenever I can. Six months ago, I didn’t put my full strength in Christ, but now I surrender every single day to Him, because without Him, I would not have made it through these six months. These victories are not my own, rather it’s the victory of all the family and friends who have supported and encouraged me. It’s my husband’s victory, who has been my rock this past six months when I’ve been crumbling. And ultimately, it’s the victory and glory of the One who has carried me each second of the day. (Oh, and I guess coffee deserves a shout out too).
Thank you all for your sweet words and prayers leading up to the evaluation. Also- I received the stamp of approval on my research project today, so that’s what I, and a couple others from my unit, will be tackling for the next six months. I am absolutely giddy about it, and one eager beaver to share it with ya’ll in March!