How God Answered My Impossible Prayer

This is the most intimidating story of my life for me to share yet. There are many reasons for this- I know it will uncover emotions that I have learned to keep at arms length, it may be a challenge to condense many interplaying factors into one single comprehensible post, and I am afraid that sharing this story will in turn somehow destroy a sacred cherished memory I hold dear. I am afraid it will offend people, confuse others, or cause me apprehension and regret on sharing it in the first place. However, when I started writing on this platform I promised God that I would be obedient to His prompting. I am writing this without any idea on who it may give hope, encourage, or touch, if anyone at all… But at the end of the day I am choosing to place these fears in God’s hands and allow this story to bring Him glory because there was a day He answered my impossible prayer. 

On November 28, 2009 my dad passed away unexpectedly from a pulmonary embolism. I remember the moment I found out clearly. There is a door in my mind that accesses the room I house that memory. Rarely do I go near it to look inside, but sometimes I do, inevitably feeling like a train has bouldered into my heart. Sometimes I don’t choose to look, but the memory works it’s way through the corridors of  my mind, forcing itself to the forefront of my thoughts. Regardless, that moment has a way of replaying itself occasionally like a reoccurring nightmare.

The phone ringing, my older sister sounding on edge on the other end of the line, asking to talk to my mom, not wishing to chat or make small talk. My mother sitting across me as I was just casually unwinding from a day at basketball practice. A plate of cheese and crackers next to me as I watched some mindless television. The characteristically cloudy November day. The look on her face.

I knew. I just knew.

Screaming “No” over and over again as I felt that I was spiraling into the ground. I begged myself to wake up as I embarked onto my first stage of grief, the shock and numbness manifesting in both denial and hysteria. The realization. This is not a dream. My heart breaking more minute by minute, realizing this would soon be my younger sister’s nightmare too. She’s only thirteen. Thirteen. The millions of questions in my head, far too clouded and confused to even articulate one. 

Yes. That moment I will forever remember- branded into my brain and onto my heart, an indelible mark. The events in the months to come thereafter were not so clear. I remember parts and pieces of that time like a bystander, rather than a partaker. I barely remember the Calling Hours, but I do remember a few conversations from that day. People would say, “You will see him again”, and “He is watching over you!”. I never grew angry at anyone’s attempt to empathize, I greatly appreciated all the compassion and could not have made it through that time without it. But those phrases… those words. I couldn’t come to peace with them. Here is where this gets tricky to explain. But I will do my best.

My father was a remarkable man. He had the kindest heart. He loved people and above all else family. At the end of the day, he would always ask my siblings and me, “Did we make a good memory, guys?” He is the reason I understand the value in making and treasuring the memories in our lives. He saw no one as a stranger, but as a potential friend. He was one of the funniest people I have ever known, and could put a smile on anyone’s face. He was a math wizard, a gene I did not inherit. He was the best listener, my protector, and the one with whom I had the most inside jokes.

But there was something I had great unrest about. There are many factors here, far too complicated to explain for the sake of this, but overall I just didn’t know for sure if my father had a personal relationship with Jesus. We had never talked about it, about what he believed personally. I could assume that he did, sure, he supported my siblings and I in our involvement in church growing up, would pray rehearsed prayers with us before meals and before bed, and referenced God occasionally. I just didn’t have an assurance that outside of those things he believed. I hope this doesn’t come across harsh or condemning. I know that we cannot truly know the state of someone’s heart. I know God is just, and He is the only one that can judge. I just wished so badly I could go back in time and ask him if he believed all this too, for himself- that the motions of religion weren’t just a way to raise us “right” or appease my mom, but something he wanted personally.

So I prayed for peace and assurance. I wanted to be able to say with confidence that I would see him again, but I just couldn’t. I just didn’t know. It felt like such an empty prayer, because how could God possibly give me this rest in my soul I so desired. I couldn’t go back in time. I couldn’t ask him.

Three years went by and healing did take place, slowly. For a long while I didn’t want to admit that anything good could come out of losing one of the people I loved the most. But upon reflecting, I see how God turned elements of the pain into blessings. It has taken me a long time to admit that.  And yet, despite the tremendous healing that time allowed, I still longed for peace about the wearisome question mark in the back of my mind.

The  summer before my freshman year of college my grandfather on my dad’s side, whom we called Papa, received the diagnosis of cancer. Since my  dad’s death, my siblings and I had become especially close to my papa. That summer, my sisters and I sat with him and read the Bible, prayed with him, and just talked with him. He never gave much feedback during those times of scripture and prayer. I couldn’t read how he felt about all of it.

In Autumn of 2012 that followed, we knew things were taking a turn for the worse with Papa’s health. Before heading back to school on my fall break I made sure to visit him. I remember that he wasn’t “all there” anymore mentally. My heart broke as I watched him slip away, and I knew this was likely my last time with him. As I said my goodbye and walked out of the nursing home, I felt a nudge in my heart, turn around and ask. I ignored it and walked to the car. TURN AROUND. I started the car and started driving. I became nauseous and the words of my soul screamed incessantly turn around now! The tears started and right when I was about to turn onto the highway entrance I turned around. A great part of me protested within myself, I don’t want to ask him. What if it makes him angry. He won’t even know what I’m saying. I don’t know how he will respond. I want to leave on a good note! 

But I pulled back into that nursing home, and jogged through the halls with a sudden urgency. I opened his door and started sobbing. I could barely calm myself down enough to ask. But regardless of the trepidation, I had to ask, I had to know. I blurted out before I could second guess what I was doing, “Papa- do you love Jesus?”.

He looked at me, as though a switch had been flipped, and lucidly said, “I sure do, Honey, I sure do” with a weighted confidence.

On that drive back to school I felt overwhelmingly thankful that I heard those precious words from my papa. I didn’t want to deal with the questioning that forever would be on my mind about my dad.

A few weeks later, my papa passed away. I drove straight from school to the funeral home. Although it was a painful time, I was thankful he was no longer in pain, and even more thankful for our last conversation. I remember standing over the casket with my older sister’s hand on my back. I said to her, “Andi- I know we will see Papa again, but I don’t know if we will see Daddy”. This is the first time I had said these words to anyone like this. She looked at me, without saying anything for few seconds, and then took me into the lobby of the funeral home.

She handed me her phone and had a voicemail playing she had saved. I listened. It was my dad’s voice, my dad’s beautiful voice, saying such sweet things to my sister and concluding with “Thank you Andi, for getting your old man ready for when his time comes”. I stood there in shock and awe. Andrea explained that they had been reading the Bible on the phone for the last few months leading up to his death. She said with undeniable certainty that we would see him again. I heard it in my father’s own voice, three years later. He was ready, he was prepared.

I will see him again.

So while November 28th is a day that brings with it memories that harbor tremendous pain, on the other side of that pain is a prayer. An impossible prayer. And on the other side of this impossible prayer is a limitless God.

And He answered my impossible prayer.

To Him forever be the glory. 


img_3660 See ya later alligator… <3  


118 thoughts on “How God Answered My Impossible Prayer

    1. Jess, thank you so much for taking the time to read and comment. It’s not a comfortable place to be, I understand deeply. I pray that God gives you peace too. He can in such unexpected ways. <3

    2. Jess, thank you so much for taking the time to read and comment. It’s not a comfortable place to be, I understand deeply. I pray that God gives you peace too. He can in such unexpected ways. <3

  1. Oh Mack, I read that through tears and a lighter heart at the end. It’s so hard to lose someone we love. Mum always said to my sister and I before she passed “never lose the faith” so I know she believed. Thank you for sharing your heartfelt story. xo

    1. Oh Miriam, thank you so much for sharing this with me!!! Wow. How powerful, and how exciting to know we all be reunited one day again too. Thank you for your sweet words and encouragement always <3

  2. Oh girl, I completely understand your questions about your father’s faith because it’s perhaps one of my biggest fears. I’m a Christian in a non-Christian family and whilst my parents would tick “Christian” on the census box (because they were baptised as babies), I don’t know where they truly stand. It’s not harsh at all – it’s a genuine fear!

    What an incredible story – and what a powerful way God was working in your heart that night you asked your Papa if he loved Jesus. Wow!

    And what an INCREDIBLE gift to know that your Dad knew the incredible truth of Jesus’s saving grace!

    1. Oh Kristy, thank you so much sweet girl! I so appreciate you sharing that with me. And that was one time that God’s voice was just so undeniably loud. Thank you, thank you for rejoicing with me in this!!! I appreciate your words dearly. <3 I send big hugs!

  3. Wow. Goosebumps and tears. This was amazing. I worked with hospice for several years and would witness little miracles of this nature. This was an amazing testimony to God’s great love. HUG!

    1. JD, thank you so much. Thank you for your service too… wow… what an amazing way God used you I’m sure to make an incredible impact in those times. I send a big hug back your way <3

  4. Oh my goodness…the emotion in that was so beautiful. Dang. I can empathize–for the longest time I wondered if my parents had a relationship with Jesus Christ–and even now sometimes I still ask myself if the relationship is deep or real. It’s a harrowing and intimidating question for all of us with parents or loved ones, because we love them, but we can’t read their hearts like God can.

    MAN. Thank you for writing your heart! That was such all heart. So much respect your way Mack!!! Your dad is home now, no doubt.

    1. PS: I nominated you for the Sunshine Blogger Award! Feel free to go look at my recent post, and if you want you can participate too. Either way, I love your blog and posts, and truly appreciate all that you do here and how open you are as a writer! 🙂

      1. Oh my goodness thank you so much!!!!! I am so incredibly honored!!!!!! Wow. I can’t wait to read your post. Thank you so much again!!! And congrats on receiving it yourself- you absolutely deserve it.

    2. Mike, thank you so much for your sweet empathy and encouragement. That last part you wrote got me all choked up! You have such an uplifting spirit, and I thank you for taking the time to share this response immensely!

  5. Growing up, I had a 2nd family. My best friend from high school lived nearby, and I think I spent more time there than at my house. Last month Mrs. Michael passed away. She was in her 80’s and had raised 7 kids. I met everyone for the wake and memorial dinner.

    The Michael’s have never been a very religious family. I’ve always tried to be a witness and a model to Rick. He believed in Jesus for a bit, but has slipped away. He told me his mom – my “other mom” – had said to him she doesn’t really know what happens when you die. So I know what happened to her.

    Why am I telling you this? I’m not sure. Maybe I want you to know I get what you’re saying, that you shouldn’t worry about how people might react. Maybe you’ve motivated me to try harder with Rick in the future before it’s too late for him. Maybe your story will do far more than you think.

    1. Jeffrey, thank you from the bottom of my heart for sharing this with me. I know that I do care too much about how others will respond, if I will offend someone, if something won’t make sense, etc…. But that’s only a selfish obstacle to letting Christ work in ways He only knows! I truly appreciate your encouragement to just share more when I feel that called to rather than hold back in fear. Also, I will be praying for Rick. Truly. I can’t tell you how much I appreciate you sharing this all with me. Blessings to you, Jeffrey!

      1. Mackenzie, thank you for your prayers for Rick. And don’t feel selfish about concerns over how others react. It’s a natural concern we all have; we’re social and want to be accepted. I finally learned that no one “bats 1.000.” Or another way to put it, everybody is somebody’s jerk…including you and me. Once you accept that, there’s a freedom in it. Write for yourself, Mackenzie. Write what speaks to you. When you do, it’ll be open, honest, and will speak to the many others who resonate as you do. The rest are not yours to reach; they are somebody else’s. Look through my category of “Jeff Tales.” Those are personal stories, sometimes about how small things can echo. It isn’t always about the numbers, just hitting the target you’re meant to hit.

        Enough preaching for now. Be well, God bless, and speak boldly!

      2. Wow- thank you for that profound, honest encouragement. I will be holding onto these words as I move forward with my writing. Thank you so much, Jeffrey. God bless!

  6. Oh my goodness, Mack…what a beautifully heart-rending story! There is no shame in being concerned/wondering about whether or not your father would be in heaven — that is so understandable! You aren’t the only one who has that struggle. But the way God answered your prayers and calmed your heart is such a precious miracle. He loves you, Mack, so much….Wow..what a great gift from our heavenly Father….Thank you for your honesty in this post and your obedience in responding to God’s promptings. Stories like this are meant to be shared as incredible testimonies of God’s goodness! <3

    1. Lauren, thank you, thank you so much for your absolutely incredible words and sympathy! It truly was a miracle for me, so I love that you used that word! Your sweet heart just radiates through your response and I appreciate it more than you know. When I struggle with pressing that submit button, I truly think God sends people like you to affirm in my soul that it was truly from Him. HUGS xo <3

  7. Mack your post saddens my heart but at the same time I’m so impressed, so impressed with you and with Jesus, he never seizes to amaze me and utterly blows my mind. I love God and all that he does for me, my family, my loved ones and I wish people could see what power he truly does have. I like to compare life to a maze with all these turns and corners and sometimes you even come to a dead end or what seems like a dead end, but inevitably God is always right there with us, because throughout the maze of life I swear he creates these little silver linings for us, little signs, and answers everywhere and sometimes in the most oddest fashion yet nevertheless he ALWAYS leaves them at the perfect time, the time that he has set and when he thinks you should find out or know, etc…, He’s the only one that can fulfill our wildest dreams or as you said answer the impossible. Sometimes it takes time but we have to trust that in end the he will always get around to answering us. He just knows. I praise you for writing such an intimate and sensitive heart felt post about your dad and opening the door to all of us. I’m so taken back because I would never have guessed something so tragic to have happened to such a sweet soul as yourself. My thoughts and prayers are with you!!! <3

    xo, JJ

    1. JJ, wow… I don’t even know how to respond! You have me all teared up and blurry eyed <3 I absolutely LOVE the way that you describe things through metaphors. They have so much truth. You are so right, He always does it in His perfect timing and in some of the most unexpected ways- it's all part of His awe-inspiring nature! Thank you for your thoughts, encouragement, & love always. I am SO thankful for you, sista. Your sweet words are such a blessing to me. <3 xo

  8. Oh dear sweet Mack, I don’t know you personally but I love your sweet, open honest heart!You remind me of one of my sweetest friends. To be able to share some of your inner most thoughts to whomever would read…It is a true testimony of your love of Jesus and a follower of Him. How important it is to know for sure where we go when we die and if we will see our loved ones there. WE need to ask those questions, as uncomfortable as they are sometimes. It is nice to have that assurance with the most important choice we have in life. I pray your thoughts and feelings about such a personal part of your life will reach someone that needs to hear it. I know I did today. What an encouragement. Love & Blessings to you! xo

    1. Anna, you have no idea how just affirming this is to me. Thank you sooooo much for taking the time to read and leaving this amazing response.. The fact that you say I remind you of one of your friends just warms my heart. And these types of situations definitely make us think long and hard about the tough questions! It is hard though to just bring these kinds of things up in conversation- but it’s the MOST important questions we can discuss. Every single thing you said just provided me with more confidence on sharing this. I cannot thank you enough <3 So thankful for you!!

  9. You are an amazing writer, Mack, and you are amazing at portraying how you think and feel through your posts. *insert tears and all the feels* This was amazing.

  10. Mack, you are so full of loving. My belief is that we are all One in the Spirit. Jesus is a consciousness of great peace, compassion, and grace. I am sending so much love to you and to the Souls of your dad and papa!

    1. Debbie, thank you immensely for your loving response. Honestly, I have been nervous to go through comments because I wasn’t sure what people who do not believe what I believe were going to say. You just express such love always, and I really appreciate you sharing your honest thoughts with me too. I’m so very thankful for you!! <3

      1. Oh Mack, I’m so thankful for you too. We each have our experiences, beliefs and what makes our hearts sing. Doing my best to hold a place of acceptance and loving and respect for all. Especially YOU! 🙂

  11. Ohh…such a loving dad!!..really heart felt and burst in tears …so nice of you to share your most sweet moments with him …loved to see him feeding you candy

      1. If you are following me …just read read my post on trypanophobia. ..I think you are the right person to give a proper advice and suggestions…I do fear needles and syringes 😊

  12. Thank you so much for sharing this very personal memory. There is someone I’ve been worried about for the same reason and you’ve given me the courage to just ask. I’m so happy that you found that you really will see your dad again!

    1. Oh Elizabeth, wow. I am so incredibly humbled and thankful that God used this to encourage you in this way!!!! I am crying..I will be genuinely praying over that conversation. <3

  13. Wow, this brought tears to my eyes! What a wonderful, faithful God we serve. I am so glad He brought you the assurance your heart needed. Thank you for sharing.

  14. I had tears and goosebumps and so many emotions as I read this. Such a testament to God’s love – I can only imagine how your heart must have lightened when talking to Andi. Thank you for sharing such a beautiful and honest piece. Sending love to you and your family!

    1. Oh Jasmine, thank you so much for your sweet, sweet words!!! I can’t tell you how much of a weight it was off my shoulders in that moment. I got into the car right after that happened and called DJ (my now husband) and said over and over, “I’m going to see my dad again!”. The celebration in my heart was like nothing I have experienced. I’m not sure why I didn’t include that in there? hehe. Thank you again. I hope you have an absolutely blessed week! <3 <3

  15. Dear Mack, I know it took great courage to share these touching moments. Yet this is a very important part of the catharsis needed to come to terms with such an experience. On 28th November 2011 my husband was operated for brain cancer. In a month and a half he passed away. So this time every year is very painful for my daughters and myself. I’ve still not been able to write it. So I know how brave you are. A psychologist told me this is very important for a closure. You have given me courage. Yes, one can literally see God and His ways at such times. How He helps, how He gives one courage to go on. Helping in ways which are impossible and unexplainable some times. It’s so important to share these moments. Thank you so much. Now you can be at peace and get on with your own life. Stay blessed. ☺

    1. Shireen, thank you so much for sharing this with me. I’m sure even sharing the bit you did here wasn’t easy either! I’m so sorry from the bottom of my heart and ache for you and your daughters. I send hugs during this time of year to you as well. Thank you for sharing that with me again. Your words are immensely encouraging. It really helps the healing process to write it out, I didn’t realize just how much! And you are so right- it really does show alll the way God works. I have also realized that by sharing these stories and what God has done, it can potentially be a stepping stone to encourage someone else as well to ask the hard questions or have those conversations. I am just humbled that God can use someone like me to bring Him glory in that way. I will have you in my prayers, I mean that. I hope that this journey of healing continues to bring peace. Blessings to you and your family. <3

      1. 🙂 Thank you so much Mack, its great communicating with one who is so close to God. I wish more people got to know Him better, and get blessed by His amazing ways. God bless you, and thank you for remembering me in your prayers. I’ll do the same for you too. Your sending blessings to my and my family makes me want to send you and your family lots of love and prayers too. Take care.

  16. Oh sweet girl, this post was so beautifully written. Your dad sounds like he was an amazing man. Your faith and trust in God is truly admirable and your outlook on life is so positive. Keep being you and know your dad is always with you. XOXOXO

    1. Taylor, thank you so much for your sweet words. He really was just one of the best, and I’m thankful that I can share these little tidbits about him to keep his memory alive. Thank you again for your encouragement. It means the absolute world. I hope you are having an amazing start to the week, and I can’t wait to catch up on all your festivities. Hugs!!! xo

  17. My heart broke for you, losing my dad is one of my biggest fears and even though I know it will happen I can’t imagine life after. Knowing you’ve made it through the other side calms me and the belief and importance of faith in healing and coping calms me as well xox

    1. Oh sweet Hannah, thank you so much for your heartfelt response. You know, it’s so interesting.. I used to feel the same way growing up. Like I used to think that I wouldn’t be able to survive if I lost one of my parents. It’s so crazy how God creates us to be robust, move forward one day at a time, and heal. Honestly heal. I never wish that grief on anyone, especially at such a young age, but for any heartache and loss in life, there is a strength that is given to us. Thank you again for your sweet and honest comment. I send such big hugs. xo

  18. This was so heartfelt and honest. Thank you. I am sending you so much love and the biggest hug. I think because of what you have gone through, is the reason you are such a beautiful, compassionate, and positive person. Tragedies, death, have the power to change us whether for the good or the bad. I know words are words and people can try to empathize, but I do understand (at least partly because grief is incredibly personal and individual to the person we are grieving) and it brought me to tears knowing you share a similar pain. My big sister was killed six years ago (Impaired driver while she was out running) and that moment of finding out I don’t think will ever leave me. Which is ironic, because other things like her voice or her hugs (they were the best) have faded, but those moments have not.
    I didn’t handle it in the best way at first, and I think part of me had a death wish, because she was my best friend. out of all my siblings she and I were the closest in age and did everything together. I also had regrets because she asked me to go running with her and for awhile I thought maybe if I had been there it would have changed the outcome.
    But like you said good can come from such horrible moments in our lives. We can question and ask why all we want, but in the end it is up to God. Everything happens for a reason. Everything is part of a plan. I don’t necessarily like it, or understand it, but there is a reason. When I finally stopped fighting the pain, and started embracing it, learning to live with it, I realized I was also honoring my sister. A lot has changed since, as you know, but their love never goes away. I truly believe that your dad and your grandfather and my sister and all our loved ones are looking down on us smiling and laughing and probably shaking their heads at various antics and when it is our time, they will be there to welcome us. Again so so so much love to you and thank you for being so open. <3 <3 <3

    1. K.M., I feel like I am at a loss for words!! Your response touched the depths of my heart in so many ways. First, I am so sorry about your dear sister. I am crying just sitting here after reading this. And based on the words you used, I think that you’re healing… despite the tremendous pain that I’m sure is still there. I know people have probably told you a million times that it wasn’t your fault and the “what ifs” can only hurt us. But even through this you are honoring your sister immensely. I know it’s not easy to be vulnerable like this (we are each other’s cheerleaders in that arena!), but I so appreciate you sharing this with me. And I can certainly say the same to you about this tragedy allowing you to be such a compassionate and beautiful individual. As much as the pain hurts, it forces us to love people deeper, to live life more fully, and embrace each day a bit more than I think we would otherwise. And through that we can honor them as well <3 I LOVE what you said about them looking down upon us. All of us will be reunited again and that is an assured hope we can carry with us. I send you so much love, I’m so thankful for you! <3

      1. Sending you ginormous hugs love. Thank you for your beautiful words and for sharing your own journey and vulnerabilities. I feel like in this life we aren;t just drawn to people by a kinship but also my a shared pain, whether it is death, addiction, physical or something else. And I think we are also drawn by how people heal whether it is for the negative or the positive. I love what you wrote about how the pain forces us to love people deeper. It definitely does have an uncanny way of bringing out the positive or the worst in us, and despite the hole in your heart it has definitely made you a positive compassionate person. It definitely does. I know my sister would kick my derriere if she saw me moping about never being happy again. She would also probably ask albeit jokingly if I never learned anything from her for not wearing water proof mascara 🙂
        I truly believe that. If I know my sister she is up there throwing one heck of a party, especially this time of year (she loved Christmas) It is. Because no matter what, while death can take them physically from us, it can never ever destroy that love we have for them and in that way they do still live and are still with us.
        I am so thankful for you and I am here if you ever want to chat or need an ear. Sending you so much love to you sweets <3 <3 <3

      2. You have such beautiful wisdom to share and I so appreciate you taking the time to share it with me, K. Your sister is so proud of you no doubt , and I just love how you talk about her throwing a party. I absolutely guarantee she is 🙂 You honor her in the most precious way. And yes- love outlasts ANYTHING else. We can certainly cling to that truth. Thank you always for sending such sweet kindness, humor, and love this way. I treasure it- and your offer extends both ways 💕 I’m always here too!

      3. Awe thank you so much for your support and heartfelt words. It really means a lot. Of course! We are all on this crazy ride called life together. It makes life even better when we find a kindred spirit who gets it 🙂 She probably is. She could get the biggest curmudgeon smiling. She had four (FOUR!) lip glosses on her when she went running. Thank you. It isn’t always easy to talk about as you know, but as one of my teachers said, “tears are healing,” so even when we cry, we are facing our wounds head on. Yes we can. Awe thank you for always being so authentic, positive, vulnerable, and funny (Yay puns;) You make the world a much brighter place and I know your dad and grandfather would be so incredibly proud of you. Thank you sweets so much love to you <3

  19. So beautifully written. It’s truly amazing how God can work in our lives, isnt it? <3 Thank you for sharing such a tough thing with us.

    1. Thank you so much, Heather. It really is amazing, His love never ceases to amaze me! Thank you for taking the time to read and respond. I appreciate it sincerely always <3

  20. You have such a strong heart, this is beautifully written. Thank you for sharing, I’m sure you touched a lot of people with this post. You’re dad sounds like an amazing person, and a wonderful role model!

    1. Amanda, thank you so much for your sweet words <3. He truly was one of the BEST. I am so thankful I can share these little things about him to keep his memory alive. Thank you again, your response means the world <3

    1. Thank you, B. I am learning this more and more. It’s times where I just tell God to use me that I see beautiful things unfold. I am learning the value of just having a willing heart. God works out the details, we just have to say we are available! Thank you for taking the time to read and respond. I appreciate it so much!

  21. This was beautiful, Mack. I’m so sorry about your losses. May they rest in peace. I’m so glad you had some closure. Keep writing from the heart. God is good. Hugs 💖

  22. Wow your very brave for sharing strong as well . I know that it’s hard but God is awesome he is always there. He will never leave your side. May God bless you and I know your dad is proud of you. 🙂

  23. What an incredibly moving and well-written post. Thank you for writing this testimony of God’s willingness to answer the prayers closest to our hearts. God bless you, Mackenzie.

    1. Oh my, thank you, Rachel! Wow it means so much to me that you took the time to read and respond. When I read your last post I was just praising Jesus that you didn’t have to go through this pain. God is SO good. And I am beyond thankful that I can now have the confidence that I will see them both again. Thank you again for stopping by and your sweet words. <3

  24. Such a stunning story you’ve shared with us… and so beautifully real and vulnerable. What a journey you’ve been on to discover the truth about your dad’s faith. I’m so thankful that God showed you that you will see him again. An incredible blessing….

  25. I love your story and how you tell it. The ending brought tears of joy to my eyes. Maybe your dad was one of those people who feels his deep down faith is a private thing. Strangely, some people, often men, are taught not to talk about personal faith or deep feelings. Anyway, I’m so glad you talked to your Papa and your sister, and that God answered the prayer you thought was impossible. Sending peace and hugs.

  26. Oh wow…this brought tears to my eyes. I’m so glad you shared, and I hope it brings you some more healing or peace. I believe that God answers all prayers – but in his own time. I’m so glad you he answered that prayer and you were able to have peace about your dad. 🙂

  27. Wow. I have goosebumps that will not go away. The whole time I was reading this, I was so nervous that you were never going to find out. I know what it’s like to carry and unanswered question around your entire life. I’m so happy you were able to resolve this, especially in a positive answer.

    1. Thank you so much, Jami. It means SOO much to me that you would take the time to read and then give me just such an encouraging response. Thank you also for rejoicing with me in this 🙂 Have such a great week!

  28. A beautiful story filled with wonderful thoughts! There is no way this could be offensive to any person. You are right, God is the only Judge. I pray you will see your family again some day…


  29. I had meant to close down my computer and go get something to eat but something made me look at your headings and click on this post. I am so glad I did. Thank you for sharing this moving story. It brought to mind an Uncle who died a few years ago from lung cancer. My husband and I tried to share Jesus with him several times even when he was at the hospice but he just didn’t want to know. It always haunts me as he was such a lovely man. Did he call out to God before he died? Will I see him again? Who knows?
    The title of this post caught my eye because I still wonder whether God will answer an impossible prayer for me (not related to my uncle’s death).
    Thank you so much for sharing.

    1. Wow- thank you for sharing this with me. I appreciate it more than you know… I am so sorry about your Uncle… I know how devastating loss is on top of uncertainty in loss. I pray that he did call out in those last moments. I also have a confidence that God will answer your prayer. I look forward to seeing how he does this. <3 Something I'm learning more about since moving to California is praying with confidence. I think sometimes I forget that God is omnipotent. He CAN answer our impossible prayers. Sending up big prayers for you and big hugs to you!

    1. Amen to that! God is always, always good. Thank you for taking the time to read. I believe I will be united one day too. <3 Thank you for the love, Grace. XO

  30. Wow Mackenzie, this is such a beautiful post and so real. This is a question all of us will have to answer one day…are you ready to meet your Maker and how wonderful to have a daughter that is concerned about not just her daddy’s heart but about his soul too. Stay the sweet sensitive spirit that you are, always obedient to the Holy Spirit.
    God Bless.

    1. Chanty.. wow.. this is so crazy.. no one has commented on this post in a very long time, and yet I read this comment right on my dad’s birthday. Thank you for your sweet words, and gosh, I cannot tell you how much you encouraged me. Sending you so much love. God bless you. Thank you for encouraging my spirit and reminding me of God’s faithfulness.

  31. Hi there! God knows each one of us so intimately, He knows just what we need to the finest detail. Do you know what is crazy…reading one post of a stranger million miles away and realizing that you speak the same spirit language.
    To be honest I don’t know how I stumbled across your post…Just shows you how extremely special you are to God…He’ll find a way to love on you.
    Love Chanty.

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