French Brunchin’ & Rome Dreamin’: A Weekend Recap

Hi Friends!!!

How ya doing?! Sooo I’ll be totally honest and say the struggle. is. very. real. Imma dive right on in. This past week/weekend have been hyper-emotional for me, laced with overwhelming anxiety. It has easily been the worst week I have had since beginning my job. The assignments have been tremendously heavy lately, and I feel like I’m barely staying afloat. Then applying for grad schools and random other things going on… I am down in the deep, deep dumps.(Well, why don’t ya tell us how you really feel) 

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I think part of it, perhaps subconsciously, is the emotions that come with November- the month I lost my Dad. Even though I tend to directly point to whatever else is going on in life as the source of the sadness, that’s probably a larger part of the equation than I acknowledge. In reality, this time of year traditionally does tend to bring up suppressed emotions and memories.

BUT, whenever I have been feeling down lately, taking this time to reflect and highlight everything good going on really has helped lift my spirits. Scripture, prayer, conversations, cards, encouragement from DJ and others… man, I do not know what I’d do without every little bit right now. DJ just keeps saying, “once you make it through this year, imagine how strong you’ll be”. Cue Kelly Clarkson!! (But for real… cliche quotes and songs have been my jam as of late— Whatever it takes- Imagine Dragons, Stronger- Kanye West……..).

#feelz

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My mom also keeps reminding me.. we are more than conquerors in Christ (Romans 8: 31-39). That is so powerful. Not just conquerors, more than conquerors.

Nope, I cannot do this alone. Not even gonna try because I’d be falling flat on my face.. but with Christ, I know I’ll make it because it is on His strength I rest, not my own. I know I should be spending this time working on my next application- but I don’t think I’m quite in the right head space for that yet. There have been some truly special memories in the last couple days.. and I would love to share them with you! (Plus blogging always gets me in a good mood- especially when I can share things like THIS…

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OOOOk. I’m doneeee with my verbose harangue & nauseating puns. Promise. Well, for now.

Friday (11/3)…zoomed into Target post-shift to snatch some mint chocolate chip ice cream (the ultimate post cry ice cream) & an endless supply of Candy Corn. Anyone else stock up on candy corn for the rest of the year? ya? no? Jus’ me? Jus me & Doug?

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Saturday (11/4) Deej and I had a date night at the row!! Wooohooooooo! Been a hot tick since a real date night for us. This was too fun. We decided to go to Yard House.

I even got to do my make-up for once in probably the last three weeks! Haaack ya!

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DJ sampled their pork spare ribs with spicy bbq sauce, creamed corn & bbq pinto beans like the good midwest man he is.

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I had their vegan burger (holy maloly) and side salad like the California hippie I am. This burger was flame. So tasty. I love how many options they have for vegetarians and vegans here.

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Such a great meal and conversation with the hubs ❤ We both agreed that Yard House is a tad overpriced especially for the portions.. but we also agreed that meant room for dessert!

We spent sometime strolling the Row, but the weather actually cooled down quite quick, so we zoomed back home to have cookies and watch some Parks & Rec.

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Can anyone guess which chocolate chip cookies these are?

Sunday (11/5) Dj went in early to Church to help with venue set up. I snatched a few extra Zzzzs and woke up for some coffee and toast with toasted vanilla coconut yogurt, chia seeds, oats, a sprinkle of stevia, and apricots.

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Church outfit! It’s time for booties, finallyyyy!- I am so excited!

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At Church, we found out the next location our Church is expanding to is …. *drum roll* …. ROME. Yep, ROME. Our Church is only five years old…five. The audacious faith that our Pastors have is truly incredible to roll out five campuses in five years. God’s hand is so evident and revival is happening. I have no words to explain how ecstatic we are to see this vision come to fruition and to be a small part of it.

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This service was SO powerful. I am excited to share it with you guys… you can watch it here.

After Church, Deejers also helped tear down and while he was doing that I finished up some laundry then decided to run from home to the place we were meeting for brunch. The run is about four miles from the apartment, but I made it about a seven miler- it was such a beautiful day, a beautiful service, so I just listened to some uplifting music while allowing adrenaline to replace the nagging anxiety.

We met at Left Bank to enjoy their fabulous French cuisine on the twinkle light lit patio. It is one of those locations that provides the full experience, not just the food.

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I visited this restaurant with my mom about a year ago (that was the last and only time we have been). She ordered a Bloody Mary, and I decided to try one since I knew I liked it the last time I tried one in Santa Cruz. This one was okay.. the Santa Cruz one was much better! (DJ snagged the bacon ;)).

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I ordered their salmon hash (again). Last time I had it I remembered how absolutely savory it was, and it sounded like a perfect brunchy meal on the chilly afternoon. All I can say is …Délicieux!!!! Absoutely magnifique!

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DJ ordered their sausage hash and downed that thing before either of us blinked (of course, post picture 😉 ). I assume he liked it.

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We walked around the row for the second time that weekend (becauuuuse it’s the ROW!). We popped into their little boutiques and I saw this on a card…

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I started tearing up. (Yes, I’m that friable emotionally right now… I actually took a pregnancy test because I am giving Niagara Falls a run for its money… and I’ve been uncharacteristically craving Diet Dr. Pepper – obviously the test was negative.. but that’s how crazy it’s been. Is that TMI? I’m a nurse.. there is really no such thing).

Monday (11/6) morning, I decided to try something different with my toast! I mixed in Matcha powder in my yogurt, topped it with oats and chia seeds and honey. It was pahretttty tasty.

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In the morning I cranked out chores while listening to podcasts, snuck in a nice long run, and stopped by Tea Chansi on Main Street for their Boba, which I was craving something fieeerce.

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In the evening, DJ and I went to our Church Group. Gosh, I haven’t been able to go in for FOREVER, and it was incredible to connect with everyone and see our friends I have been missing something terrible. These are the snacks I whipped us for us and my good friend Danielle made some out-of-this-world delicious homemade soup & homemade bread.

It was a much needed night discussing the message Sunday, our vision for our own lives, and praying over each other.

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Today has been hard. I’ve been pacing, anxious, and not able to really focus. I go back to work tomorrow after a stretch off. I haven’t been productive AT ALL with my applications. I am going to just focus on getting in a good head space- go for a run, clean the house, blast some feel good oldies, and maybe just read a book. I thank you all for allowing me to be honest in this season, and also for being ever so patient with me. Y’all are the BEST ❤

PS. Ya all know we keep it one hundred around here…. I put up a post last night that I ended up setting to Private. If you did read it, I don’t think I was communicating very well what I meant to. I essentially was trying to say that sometimes perception is not the reality in the nurse/patient relationship, and it may be hard to see the nurse’s heart in light of the system in place and the demands placed upon us. I honestly didn’t intend to annihilate myself, but rather, speak from the heart to the patients I wish I could do more for. I also wanted to debunk the idea of a “good” vs. “bad” nurse that is often discussed (eg. often the perceived “bad nurse” on paper actually might care more than you know). I realize it came across pretty bleak, but I wrote it with the intent to be an artistic/poetic form rather than a woeful monologue. Not one of my best articulated pieces. However, I truly, truly appreciate those that reached out and left such kind words <3. (Ps. if you want to read it, I will send it privately). Ya live, ya learn, ya blog.

Annnnnnd couldn’t help but share this video because it made my whole day……

xo ❤

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44 thoughts on “French Brunchin’ & Rome Dreamin’: A Weekend Recap

  1. I love how you are always so transparent with us! I pray for clarity for you, & for peace! I also pray that God shows you which grad school is for you so you don’t have to apply to so many.

    I watched the Vive church video you posted in here and it was really. I was feeling really frustrated because of some technical issues I was having earlier (Pray for me, in general please lol) and decided to step away and then I came across your post and was like okay let me just watch this and clear my head then try to figure this tech stuff out later. & I instantly felt teary eyed from the beginning of the video. It really stuck with me. God will definitely speak something and then align it. It’s ironic that the next Vive location will be in Rome, I’ve been wanting to go to Rome realllllllllly bad for the last like 5 months. So to find out your church will have a location there is definitely interesting to me.

    Anyway, I pray that you have a peaceful work week & I also pray for favor over your grad school apps in Jesus name!

    Thanks for sharing with us.

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    1. Diam!! Your comment lifted my spirits more than I can even explain. I am thankful you are so receptive to me sharing it all. I never want to be a debby downer, but at the same time I think this just sets the stage for how God is going to redeem this crazy stage of life and get us through!! And your prayers mean the WORLD. And girl, of course, I will absolutely be praying for you too!

      I am SO thankful that sermon encouraged you ❤ I am super thankful to be a part of this church. If you are ever in the Bay area, please visit! EEEK!! OR ROME! It will be open in 2018, so you definitely should plan your trip around that 😉 Thank you, thank you, thank you, again, Diam. I am thankful for you, friend ❤

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    2. PS. I just popped over to your blog because I realized my reader never shows your posts.. it said I wasn’t following?! Ummmm NOT OKAY.. not sure what happened along the way.. but we are all sorted out now. I have lots of catching up to do ! Hehe. ❤

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  2. Okay you seriously make every meal seem so appetizing! For example, the vegan burger looks so good and since I’m picky I probably wouldn’t eat half of what is in it yet I would order it based solely on your pic. Since your church is expanding to Rome does that mean you get to go help with it? That would be so cool if you could! Sending some extra love your way girly since you’re extra stressed right now ❤

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    1. HEY GIRL! Oooo that is like the greatest compliment. I joke with another blog friend that I should just retire from nursing and go into food photography.. we joke… butttt…maybe I should look into that… hahah. So with the church- we would LOVE LOVE LOVE to visit the location when it’s set up. Our Church main campus is in Palo Alto, CA. We attend the San Jose campus.. the worship is live, but the sermon is broadcasted in.. so it will be similar to that I believe but translated into Italian. So exciting!!! Thank you for reading and always being so engaging. I so appreciate ya! Have a beautiful weekend and thank you again for the sweet, encouraging words! XO

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Thanks for sharing Mack. You’re dealing with a lot at one time which is very stressful. Take time out for a date night is a great way to decompress. I’m glad you were able to after a while. Would you be able to go to Rome to help with the expansion, or is the timing off? I hope you get to a less stressful time soon.

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    1. Samantha!!!! Oh my gosh, hearing from you just made my day. Thank you so so much for stopping by. I am definitely, definitely hoping we would be able to visit the location next summer ! We will see 🙂 Thankfully this program is only until March and then things will slow down. I just keep remembering, “this is a season”. Thank you for your encouragement, and just hearing from you lifts my spirits ❤ Hope you are doing beautifully as usual.. have a fantastic weekend! XO

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  4. Hey there Machkeunzye!

    When I read about all the stress and ups and downs you’re going through, you make me wish someone had invented a teleporter I could use to instantly be in Cali, and give you a big big big hug (no, I’m not saying that because I want to get away from the cold here :P)… Or just sneak into your house and do one or two things before you get home, so you get that much extra time to just chill and relax a little bit!!

    I hope you still remember to breathe from time to time, because judging on your schedules, I am sometimes afraid that is just not on the list… But believe me, even as a totally non-nurse I tell you, breathing is just soooo good for your health!!

    I, for one, would like to read the controversial blog, but no rush…. Send it when you have plenty of time on your hands! 🙂

    I have to get ready to walk back home (yeah, at job at the moment, and I finish my shift in 10 minutes…) but I’ll drop you a line again soon!! So remember, breathe! Take a little time to chill… Keep eating healthy and being the amazinglyfabulousandgorgeous person that you are, and everything will be alright! I promise! (geeeez, what have I done there… ? LOL)

    Sending you much much much love and the biggest hug!

    P.S. Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! and if you have time for a short read, try this out…
    https://cyranny.wordpress.com/2017/11/07/o-like-omg-a-to-z-challenge/

    Liked by 1 person

    1. CYRRRR ! Cyr cyr cyr. You are literally the QUEEN BEE of the most epic comments. They always make me chuckle and warm my heart. You must have sensed I needed that right about now 😉 I SO wish you could be teleported here….(I mean there are airplanes, butt no pressure- haha)…. I could use the biggest Cyranny hug right bout’ now!

      LOL!!! I think you just could be a very good nurse… today in our Residency class we learned breathing techniques for self management—the 4-7-8 rule… 4 in through the nose, hold breath for 7 and let out for the lips for 8. So thank you for that VERY important reminder to breathe.. interesting that I actually do think I forget that time to time 😉 I hope you made that 10 minute walk home okay… especially considering it’s been two days. If you aren’t home by now we would be very concerned.

      THANK YOUUUUU for your sweet words ❤ I’m tryin’ tryin’ to stay sane hehe, thank you for seriously making my night. I appreciate you OHHH soooo very much ❤ HUGE hugs!!!!

      Ps. CANNNOT WAIT to check out the link. Muah!

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  5. I want to start by saying how sorry I am that you’ve experienced such a rough few weeks, but you are so much stronger now because of it. I know that’s cliche & sometimes upsets people to hear, but these tough times are molding you even more into an amazing young woman. While you’re in the thick of it, you don’t notice how much you’re accomplishing. I’m proud of you! Keep your head held high & take it one step at a time.

    You know I have to comment & say I loved the puns!

    So in September when I felt horribl but couldn’t pinpoint the cause(s) & had some weird food aversions (no coffee, banana, pb), I wondered the same thing. Lol. Hope you get to feeling more like yourself soon! Until then, just cry when you need to & remember to practice self care & self compassion. My dad often tells me to get my foot off my neck when I’m critical of myself. We’re here for you!

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    1. Thank you, SOOO much, Kori ❤ This means so much. you always offer the best wisdom. That's so funny about the food aversions!!! Isn't that strange?! All of a sudden lately I've been craving Dr. Pepper, raw mushrooms, and eggs. SO. WEIRD. I needed this reminder about self-compassion big time. I am so harsh to myself sometimes and I think I wear myself out more emotionally than I know. So thankful for you and you taking the time to stop by! BIG HUGS ❤ xoxo

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  6. Sending prayers your way! I know God is with you and you are doing amazing things as a nurse even amidst the trying times!
    What podcasts do you listen to?

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    1. Thank you so so much, Mrs. Annrae! ❤ Oh man, I listen to a plethora !!! I love true crime podcasts.. serial, someone knows something, my favorite murder, up and vanished to name a few. And I also love just silly reality ones from Bachelor contestants (pretty embarrassed to admit that, but it's escapism at its finest lol).. Off the Vine with Kaitlyn Bristowe, I don't Get it Podcast, and almost famous podcast. I also love our Church's .. it's VIVE church with Adam Smallcombe. Do you have any favorites?! I love taking suggestions!

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      1. Thank you so much for the suggestions! I am pretty new to the podcast world. So far I have enjoyed listening to Modern Love and to our church’s…The Crossing Church in The Woodlands. Sorry I don’t have more suggestions 🙂

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  7. So good to hear you remember all the support you have in months like these Mackenzie– and love when people post about going to church!! It’s a high spot in my week– but dont’ see it much on line. You’e the best!! Hopeful for yoru grad school prospects!! Keep us posted! xox

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    1. Hi Rhonda!! Happy Saturday 🙂 Ah, I totally TOTALLY agree. It really sets the whole tone for my week and I miss it terribly when I have to work every other Sunday. Thank you for stopping by, your comment brightened my morning before heading into work. Any big weekend plans?! XO

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  8. So sorry you are going through such an overwhelming season. Just remember God is always with us, no matter the season we are in. He is holding you and helping you fight the battles you are facing with work, life, etc. I will be sending some prayers your way girl!
    P.S. Good luck on those grad school applications, I know you will do amazing!!

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    1. Hi Rebeckah!! Thank you so much for these reminders ❤ This encouraged me more than I can say.. especially because I am about to start my shift in about an hour. Reading this is so timely.. just have to remember God is there every single step. Thank you, thank you!!!! I hope you have a beautiful weekend!

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  9. You’re right. Usually when a painful time period from the past comes back, your brain really* does subconsciously, bring up those emotions again. Sometimes when you least expect it too so that sort of tends to pile on along with everything else going in the present. Which is why it’s important to stay grounded, and I’m glad that you have a huge support group (Dj and family). It also wouldn’t hurt to take a break if you could 🙂
    And girl you are gorgeous with and without makeup! I could honestly say, you don’t need it AT ALL! And I love how when you guys have a date, your dishes are COMPLETELY opposite! 😀 A lot like Alex and I sometimes, I tend to order the most healthy dish on the menu, meanwhile, he gets something meaty lol.
    The outdoor decor of Left Bank is stunning! So fancy!
    And I think I tried some pita chips, might have been the Stacy’s brand as well, and Alex got me some taco inspired hummus and it was delicious! One of my favorite snacks right now lol .
    And I hope things start looking up for you girl, you got this! xx

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    1. Oh my gosh, so true, girlfriend. It’s ALWAYS when you least expect it (usually a random song in a grocery store or stumbling across a random picture triggers it). But oh my gooodness- I would love a break. DJ and I are talking about maybe a vacation of some type in January… but I just have to get the research project and all my applications in by then (AKA no holiday travel and busting my toosh till then 😉 ). AWWWW!!!! You are the sweetest, rossy. This comment just made my day ❤ Coming from the ULTIMATE natural beauty (but also best makeup artist) that means tons and tons ❤

      Haha! You and Alex are definitely SUPER similar to us. Left Bank was a nice treat for sure! I felt a bit underdressed in my running clothes, but it felt so nice to go on a long run and work up an appetite on my way to brunch. Oh well haha, we sat outside anyway, so slightly more casual, right?! WHAT?! TACO HUMMUS! I must hunt this down- whereabouts did he find that?! Thank you always for reading, your sweet words, and amazing encouragement. You're the bestttt. I hope you had the best weekend!!! XOXO

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      1. Yay! I’m glad you’ll be taking some time off next year! It will definitely feel so much better after you’re done with everything, you’ll really be able to relax 🙂
        Awhh nah lol I’m no makeup artist but that means a lot 😀 I actually did my godmother’s daughter’s makeup because her birthday is coming up and she wanted me to practice on her a little and I was like “uhmmm, I’m not a makeup artist i don’t know what I’m doing” but in the end, I was surprised at how good her eye makeup looked and even she liked it! I was so pleased 🙂
        yeah that’s true, I really need to exercise!
        The hummus brand is Sabra, Alex found it at the grocery store, it’s like pico de gallo but its soooooooooo delicious!!! I hope you find it!

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      2. Yes!!! FOR SURE!!!!! I can’t wait for all these applications to be in and the project to be done! I don’t know what I’ll do with myself, lol. And i’m not surprised that your godmother’s daughter’s makeup looked fab!!! You really are a makeup artist- even if unofficially! Mmmmmm I LOVE Sabra!!!! I’ll be keeping an eye out. Yuhm!

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  10. Firstly HUGE hugs. I didn’t read your post, but I can not imagine you ever trying to intentionally be bleak or come across as away that is anything less then uncaring. You are the most caring person I know. And even people who are compassionate have bad days and can say the wrong things. it is what makes us human. Huge hugs.
    It is also the compassionate people that always feel the most burdened. It is OKAY to feel that and it is OKAY to struggle. Even super heroes struggle sometimes. I am sending you so much hugs and I am ALWAYS here for you! You are rocking it even if you don’t even feel like you are!
    OH Sweetie huge HUGS. (Seriously I need to see you and just give you the biggest hug ever! I can completely relate sweets, it is how September is for me leading up to October 2. There is so much emotion and it literally can feel like I am drowning in it.
    I think it can be hard to acknowledge it, because after a certain time period (Not sure WHAT that period is) people just assume you are over it. Or that things get easier, but anniversaries are never easy regardless of how many years have passed. Sometimes it isn;t even day by day but hour by hour. And by the end of the day I always think to myself I made it.
    DJ is right YOU WILL be stronger after this year. You already are. ❤
    That has always been my struggle, is that I tend to do things alone and then talk about them after the fact. But we always need help, whether it is God or family or friends. And the reality is we are never truly alone because we DO have God and we have our Angels.
    And hehe share those jokes away!
    Yay for date nights! Girl you are stunning!
    And that outfit you wore to church I am obsessed! That is sooo cool your church is expanding to Rome!
    I love French food and Left Bank looks adorable!
    Huge hugs. I love that saying because it is so true. I need to remind myself of that every so often especially when I am being an uber type a perfectionist.
    I hope this week is amazing and that work goes much better. YOU Have got this sweets. Be kind to yourself. It is so hard to be, but you have already accomplished so much and been through so much. You are amazing and you have got this. You haven't fallen. You are flying even if it seems like you aren;t flying very high, you really are. SO much love sweets and I am thinking of you always, but especially right now sending you extra love and juju! ❤

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    1. Thank you, thank you, thank you, Katie ❤ ❤

      I think sometimes that I forget that it is actually okay to screw up and it’s okay to be less than the deemed standard of perfect sometimes. I would love love love to have a Kate hug right now. I’m receiving sweet love from across the country though!

      Oh my gosh, it’s so true… I know you were feeling that same heaviness and it really does bite in the butt no matter what. There are some years where it just hits heavier than others, but gosh, it alwayyyys hurts. And you are so right.. somehow and some way we do make it through. And AMEN, sista. We have God and our guardian angels ❤

      Thank you, love!!!! Girl, if you love French Food, SF has some amazing French cuisine!!! Next time, next time 😉

      Ahh there are no words to explain how much I appreciate you. Reading your comments lifted my spirits more than I can say. LOVE YOUUU! XO

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  11. How lovely to see your post pop up on my feed, I knew I would be left feeling hungry and wanting to hang out at all the beautiful places you & DJ explore! My heart goes out to you as well and I hope things settle down for you soon, I’m glad to read that you are taking time for self-care, it’s so important! I’m starting to see the light in my own life, it takes practice, some days I’m not able to do all the things I need or want to do and I’m learning to “let it go”…take good care, I’ll be thinking of you!

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    1. Awww!!! Thank you, Kimberlee! If you leave with the itch to explore then I feel I’ve done something right 😉 So thank you for that!!! Also thank you for the sweet words and kind encouragement. Self-care is tremendously important, and it’s something I need to be reminded of constantly! Learning to let go has been a big motif this year.. letting go of things I cannot control and surrendering my anxiety/imperfections/etc. Thank you again for stopping by and reading. I hope you are doing SO well ❤

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  12. Praying for you as you navigate a hard work patch and struggle through the month filled with some hard memories for you. I’m so sorry that you’ve experienced the loss of your dad. ❤ I'm so happy to be back on this blog to catch up! I've so missed reading it and seeing all of your delightful food and fun adventures!

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    1. Thank you SOO much, Heather. Your comment truly just made my day & your prayers mean the world. This has been quite the year of change for both of us!! Your kind words lifted my spirit. Thank you! I hope you are doing so well, and I am just absolutely loving all the sweet pictures of perfect, beautiful Aubrey. You are doing so well & I admire you tons. I hope you had the best weekend.

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  13. The Parent Trap meme at the beginning of this post is epic!! Also, as for the nursing post (which I didn’t get a chance to read), my sister was just telling me about a book she had to read for nursing school on the patient/nurse relationship and she said it was really, really good. I think it was called Bed Number Ten. Anyways, just wanted to say I’m praying for you with the rough times you’ve been having at work. I know anxiety is no joke and can be so overwhelming. Hang in there!!

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    1. Haha- right?! I was obsessed when I saw it. It has applied to many, many days recently lol. Thank you tons for sharing that book!! I am gonna go see if I can get it on Amazon right now! I can’t wait to read!! Thank you tons always for your encouragement, Allie!!!! I hope you had the best weekend. ❤

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  14. Oh my gosh, the parent trap meme, that was completely on point. Although I’m sorry that you’re feeling so much stress and anxiety lately. My favorite verse that I ALWAYS say to myself is “I can do all things through He who gives me strength”. Far too often I try to tackle life on my own, and then I realize how crazy silly that is when I have Him to guide me.
    SO many yummy eats on this post! I would LOVE to try that vegan burger. I always appreciate a place that can do a killer meat free version!
    Lots of prayers and positive thoughts towards you – you’ve got this girl!

    Susie | http://milehighdreamers.com

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    1. I am reaching a new level of delayed responses! Lol. Thanks for stopping by, Susie!!! Ahh, I LOVEEE that verse- It’s so important to keep in mind. Thank you for your encouragement &prayers.. it means the world. And girl, the burgers are too good to be true.. even my husband who is 100% meat eater asks me to buy them!!! Hope you had a beautiful thanksgiving! XO

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