Finding my [[ Center ]] & Fighting Self Care Guilt

Happy Friday Eve, everyone! I have been spending the last couple weeks finding my center per the title. *Cue the yoga mudra*. This sounds like some serious Californian crap, but ohhh well, it’s trueeee.

Leaving off from the last post, I entered into the next week determined to do some serious self care.

Self care is difficult for me because I tend to feel like I have to be dying on my sword, exhausted in every way before I allow myself to take a darn bubble bath. But that’s what these couple of months are for before diving back into the deep end in August. I am struggling though because if I’m rested, calm, and moving less than the pace of a tornado- am I doing something wrong?! The guilt has been knocking at the door… but I had to remind myself of the beautiful lesson I learned about seasons/transition times when I moved here, and I am going to soak up these next few weeks best I can. After all, I have to be rested before I can give my all, right?

My sister, Andi, and I chatted on the phone on Father’s Day reminiscing about our Dad and life in general. I told her how I’m feeling a bit strange not being busy busy busy. She said the awesome thing about these phases and seasons is that you are available- truly available for whatever God might have for you.

Case and point- I was on a run today and saw a debit card on the sidewalk. In all my busyness previously, I honestly may have just left it, not bothering myself with it. But since I had the time, I was able to run the card to the nearest Police Station- It felt good being able to just do something that I selfishly probably wouldn’t have if I was in one of my busy seasons. The police called back and said the man was incredibly grateful. I also feel like I’ve just been able to be there for my friends and family a bit more this last couple weeks. Usually, I just keep my phone on “Do not Disturb” because when I was at work I obviously couldn’t answer, and when I wasn’t at work I was running around getting ready for work or trying to sleep. It resulted in a endless games of phone tags and a full voicemail box. Now, I actually have my phone on and am able to chat with my friends and family who are going through some tough stuff right now. I’m so glad I can be there to just listen.

So what does this self care look like? Well first, I have allowed myself to sleep without an alarm (which is a challenge when usually I set an alarm even when I don’t need one). My body has been thanking me though- I am breathing easier and feel like my feet are actually on the ground. My circadian rhythm is resetting- and not only physically- but emotionally too.

I’m beginning to actually feel like myself again.

Second- I am cutting out the artificial sweetener drinks and sticking to water. I love those ICE drinks and Vitamin Water Zero- but I have decided to try to just drink pure water. I have noticed the difference in two things- bloating & energy. I love my flavored wa’ (pronounced wah), but time to hydrate the old fashioned way.

Next, this past year in nursing I have severely damaged my back, actually more than I realized. I am working on doing more stretching and some yoga to help it, but DJ suggested I get a massage. I decided Monday June 11th to get one at Elements Massage in Los Gatos with a coupon. Although the masseuse  talked the entire time and we ended up talking about her family’s medical issues, it was still enjoyable. A nurse is never really off duty ;). Haha.

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Monday during The Bachelor(ette) season is my favorite night of the week! I love that DJ watches with me because he has the most hilarious commentary. We took a nice lazy walk on Sunday night on Main Street and passed Rootstock Wine Bar. We decided we would hop in there the next night for a glass of wine before the Bachelorette.

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It’s pretty expensive, but sooo delish, and a nice date place every once in a while. They always have some of the best wine. I also love the whole ambiance- it’s rustic, yet chic, and comfortable. On some nights they have live music playing. We sat out on the patio and enjoyed our glass of wine before walking home to eat our Tollhouse  chocolate chip cookies and watch maybe the silliest shows on television. (Although.. it does look like it could win an Oscar next to the Proposal- ew, that show– awful. Do not even get me started!).

Tuesday morning, the 12th, I tried my first Orange Theory class!!! I thoroughly enjoyed it. I used the arm band for the first one, so I don’t think it was accurate- but it a fantastic workout. I don’t think I’ll stick to the courses because it’s very similar to Insanity (with the HITT routine) that I already do. But every once in a while with some friends it would be fun!

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Almost every night this last couple weeks (That DJ doesn’t have a game of course), Deej and I have been going on evening walks after dinner. This has been one of my favorite parts of the day. We used to take walks often when we lived in Indiana, but have just been so on the go since moving here. It’s been great to have that time together to chat, unwind, and reconnect.

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Wednesday, the 13th,  I did Insanity then realized a new Handmaid Tale episode was out on Hulu. To Peet’s we go with popcorn in tow!

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After, I rounded up our groceries for the week from TJ’s and did some meal prep the rest of the day. In afternoon I started the book, “Behind Closed Doors”. It’s a difficult read from a content perspective, but goodness I could not put it down. Has anyone read it?

Thursday morning, the 14th, I made the same avocado toast that I’ve been having every morning while enjoying it out on my balcony. It has a slice of seeded bread, 2 TBSP hummus, 1/2 avocado, and pink himalayan salt and pepper. I think I’ll be on this kick for a while.

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I went for a run, although somehow I think a sweat bee got caught in my mouth and stung me or something. I was okay, but it was a bit of a shock and hurt! I don’t even know how that happened, lol, but the bee season is in full swing right now. I then was proceeded to be chased by killer crows on the last rung of my run. They followed me about 1/4 mile even when I changed direction and then started flying in front of my face. It was so scary!!! I dove across four lanes of traffic and finally lost them. (A few days later, I heard on the radio this is a thing in Canada!). Mack vs. Nature- 0-2.

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I then caught up on e-mails, laundry, etc.

One of the meals I meal prepped for the week was salmon, broccoli, wild black rice, and ciabatta bread from Trader Joe’s! We gobbled this up for dinner.

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Friday I headed to my first Bar experience!! I had heard about Barre3 from Kori, and when my friend invited me to try The Bar Method, I jumped on it. I think there are some differences between those two- but generally the same idea.

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The boutique was immaculate, quiet, and adorably decorated.

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So my thoughts on bar: I’m such a cardio junkie- so this was a fantastic new challenge for me! I loved how much they focused on strength through micro-movements. It was a workout unlike anything I’d ever done before. I still don’t know that I can totally depart from my cardio- but I would love to incorporate the idea of focusing on such specific muscles into my normal workout regimen more. No wonder Kori & Kaci (Kori’s twin) have the most perfectly toned arms!!

The rest of the day Sara, my friend, and I went back to her house to binge watch our show & snack.

In the evening I headed to Harry Potter Night to watch the San Jose Giants play!

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They went alll out for this! When you enter the gates, they give you a ticket and sort you into a house. Despite the long debate DJ and I had in our kitchen about which house we would be in, I was sorted into Gryffindor! (The sorting hat at Warner Bros said Gryffindor too, sooooo).

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If I had to sort myself I think I’d be in Ravenclaw. Which house are you?!

They even sold Butterbeer from a local brewery (It was basically cream soda, mmm mm!).

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I just LOVE minor league games, especially at Muni. The food is irresistible and the environment is pure fun and excitement.

I recorded on video the House Race on broomsticks, and this poor little man ate it. I felt bad, but I couldn’t help from laughing.

Saturday morning, the 16th, I was craving a soft boiled egg over my toast. I went through FIVE eggs to try to get one that didn’t break right when I was taking off the shell. Well…..

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I overcooked it when I finally thought I had it right. Haha. What are your tricks for a perfect soft boiled egg that’s a bit runny?!

I ended up just going with a normal over medium fried egg.

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Yum, yum!

I went for a calming long walk, listened to a podcast, chatted on the phone, and then during my mid-stride bliss, I was pooped on by a bird. Not the first time this has happened, probably not the last. After taking a THOROUGH shower and washing all my clothes, I then got to work posting tons of things on Poshmark and Ebay that I’ve been wanting to post for a while.

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These are all the clothes I have left (minus workout clothes/pants that are in my dresser). I feel lighter having narrowed it down to clothes I actually wear (considering I wear the same like five outfits in rotation- ha). DJ had to work the weekend, but was home Saturday night for dinner.

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We improvised with the little bit of salmon we had left, rice, and them a tomato soup from trader Joe’s with tortilla strips.

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Sunday the 17th was Father’s Day. It was a hard day- just missing my Dad and DJ had to be at work so I did feel a bit lonely. I went on a long walk in the afternoon and called my step dad, Pete, and my grandpa which turned my mood right around. I’m so excited to see them in about a month! I continued to spend the rest of the day spring cleaning and posting to Ebay/Poshmark.

Monday the 18th- Wednesday the 20th I spent the days shopping. Ok, that probably sounds wonderful to most of you, but not for me! I hate shopping (especially when I need something). I get in the mood maybe once a year for like five minutes when I actually want to shop. This was not one of those times. I needed to find a dress for a wedding we have next weekend and also was hoping to find something to wear for fourth of July. I struck out everywhere, leaving each place empty handed.

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^ I mean, this is what I’m working with… (although the dress alone is pretty cute!).

I did enjoy seeing the massive gorgeous Anthropologie at Stanford Mall.

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Since I couldn’t find a single thing, to online shopping we go (I must clarify- I do LOVEEE online shopping! I’m still a female, ya know?).

Tuesday evening, the 19th, we headed to DJ’s Dad’s to celebrate Father’s Day and to say goodbye (They are moving back to Ohio). It was bittersweet, but I’m glad we had one last hurrah before we saw them go.

Yesterday morning the 20th, I had the best cosmetologist (in my book) at Limon Salon work some serious magic on my damaged hair (part 2)… part one is in the previous recap where she had to work my hair out of the awful highlights.

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Last evening, I made a big crockpot chicken and veggie slow cooked meal that made the house smell magical. I am going to try to make meals in the next couple weeks that we can freeze for when things pick up here soon.

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I’m now sitting at Peet’s (imagine that) and then heading to a work dinner with DJ’s coworkers tonight. Woohoo!

How are your weeks going? If you know how to make a soft boiled egg, please help your girl out!

xo <3

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49 thoughts on “Finding my [[ Center ]] & Fighting Self Care Guilt

  1. I totally get what you mean about self care! Sometimes I feel like I could be doing something more productive than taking an epsom salt bath to ease my sore muscles. Although a small win was last night I actually did it – woohoo! Baby steps right?! I’m jealous of your wine bar outing girl! Even if it’s more expensive going out for wine is more fun than opening up a bottle at home. One day this summer I will make it to a winery/wine bar and get serious Mackenzie vibes hehe.

    I want to try Orangetheory and some sort of bar class!! But they seem expensive so I probably won’t for a bit until I can fit in the budget. People swear by both of them though so I”m glad you had positive things to say for both classes.

    Behind Closed Doors is a good book. Definitely not easy to read at all but it is a good one! I can’t wait to hear what you think of it. I need to go through my clothes (again…) to donate more. I need to get rid of things I don’t wear anymore and quit telling myself that I’ll wear them haha.

    I said it on Insta but seriously, you’re hair is awesome now!! That may have come across wrong because it was always awesome but the cut and color just fit you so well now. Have an awesome Fri-yay 🙂

    1. HECK YES! So glad you treated yourself! You earned it, girlfriend! And I have realized taking this rest results in more rested muscles and better workouts too which is awesome.

      Ahhh I blushhh at “mackenzie vibes” <3 <3 . Hope you find time for that wine night OUT soon and I can't wait to hear about it 🙂

      OK- so about the OT & bar– a lot of Orange Theory classes have a free first class. It's insanely expensive- and similar to Insanity I do at home (with HITT training). BUT such a fun experience- and I would definitely do it with friends or family every once in a while. Also- Barre usually has Groupons online too! I don't think I'll buy a package, but it was a great experience. It's so fun to change up the workouts every once in a while!

      Also- I finished Behind Closed Doors- and I LOVED it… I was sooo satisfied with the ending. What were your thoughts?!

      My rule for clothes is "have I worn this in the last year?". If I haven't then I say adios, and it works pretty well!

      Aww thank you so much! I am REALLY bad at curling my hair- so it'll probably never look this good again, but I'll do my best. hehe.

      Thanks for stopping by, Maureen! Have such a great week!!

      1. A little R&R just leaves you feeling so good physically, mentally and emotionally. It’s the BEST feeling after a busy time!

        I looked at prices for OT a while ago and so expensive! Yes it’s probably a great workout but I don’t have the budget for it. I’ll have to try out a bar class and then look at Groupon. Changing up workouts is so good!

        I really enjoyed it!! I was totally unsure at first where the book was going to go but I thought the author did a great job with it. It’s probably my favorite of the books I’ve read by B.A. Paris.

        That’s how I am!! I turn my hangers the opposite way to so that I can easily see which clothes I have been wearing and haven’t worn in a while. It’s about time I went through my summer clothes though. When I tried in the winter it was hard to actually think about what tank tops and shirts I’d actually wear when I was all bundled up in a sweater and fuzzy socks lol.

        I hope you had a great weekend Mackenzie!

      2. Right?! You know, I have been thinking a lot about a post you did a few months ago where you just opted to have some pizza and wine rather than go workout because you knew mentally and emotionally that is what you needed instead of over exerting yourself (I may have said that a bit off) I always think about that post and admire your approach to life, so it makes me feel better about choosing rest!

        And yes OT is just too expensive- it’s borderline “who the heck can actually afford this?!”. I will just go every once in a while with friends/family that do it if they come in town but other than that- just sticking to insanity!

        LOL- that’s so funny you say that because I’m actually wearing fuzzy socks right now and it’s 85 degrees out. But we keep our house like an actual ice box. It’s good to get in that routine with the hangers!! I’ve been meaning to start doing that!!

        Hope your week is going so well!
        xo

      3. I remember that post! It’s probably one of my favorites. I had to stay so late at work and honestly would’ve been working out and crying if I ran. So I said screw it, give me some pizza and wine. Sometimes mental health is more important than physical health. It’s all about balance to me 🙂

        Haha I’ve actually thought that before! I know my first class is free but I don’t want to get hooked so I’ve just never gone to try it out.

        I started it about 5ish months ago or so and think it’s helping! I’ll wait a little bit then purge some of the summer clothes most likely.

        Thanks Mackenzie! I hope you’re having a great week 🙂

  2. Nice post, Mack! I love the Harry Potter game you went to! Did you have a butter beer?? I need to finish reading the series one day. Lol. I stopped at the second book. The crockpot meal looks good! Do you have a recipe for it? I need to buy a crockpot! Take care! 💖

    1. Thank you, Lisa!! I didn’t try the butter beer but DJ did and said it was really delicious!! I am holding out to try it for when I finish ALL the HP books and then going to HP world at Universal. 🙂 So basically I just threw in chicken breasts, regular potatoes, carrots, green beans and a ton of chicken stock and cooked it on high for about 4.5 hours. It turned out awesome (per DJ), but was honestly a shot in the dark hehe. I’m flattered you asked! Thank you for shopping by! XO

  3. This post is so awesome! I completely understand what you mean about having guilt when you engage in self-care, but self-care is not selfish. We must take care of ourselves to fully be able to serve others. Just like the ole oxygen mask on an airplane, a parent must administer the oxygen to themselves in order to help their child. You know? Anywho, thank you so so much sweet girl for the shoutout!! I’ve only ever caught negative flack for my arms, so to hear someone say they look toned is really very uplifting. I’m sure you killed it in class! I love that you tried OT too! I enjoyed it, but my love will always be with Barre3. I was seriously laughing to tears reading about your struggles with nature! I read them to Matt and was just full on cackling. Girl, those sounded terrible, but your ability to laugh at them is such an awesome trait of yours, among many! I LOVE that egg video! I could absolutely sense your disappointment. I have only ever accidentally made soft boiled eggs, but I think to do so, you add your eggs to boiling water, turn it off, let them sit for 8-10 minutes (12 is hard cooked per Julie Child, I think), and hopefully voila! Soft cooked eggs. Your hummus avo toast sounds like perfection. I’m so glad to hear you have been able to take time for yourself. Those evening walks with the hubs can do so much for us, huh? They’re one of my favorites parts of summer! I wish you the best this weekend! (Oh, and I have to say again just how gawgeous your locks are!! Seriously, so stunning.) <3

    1. Aw thank you, Kori!!! Oh my goodness- wait this is SO crazy- I was listening to a podcast today with that exact same illustration with the oxygen mask and I was thinking how true and powerful that was!

      Yes, Barre was great! I’ve actually been missing it since the class and starting to crave another. Uh oh! I just remember how strong and yet relaxed I felt after it. Maybe I should try some of the 10 minute ones you guys are doing or look up some moves on youtube!

      Ohhhh my gosh thank you for the soft boiled tips!! I am going to try that soon. Yummy!!

      Agreed- evening walks are truly the best. They are some of the best forms of therapy. All my “happy” periods of life that I reflect on especially fondly have involved walks.

      Thank you, thank you!! <3 It means so much that you take the time out of your busy schedule to always stop in here, gf! <3

      1. We have found some good videos on YouTube! Kaci and I love our online Barre3 subscription, but if you don’t want to commit to purchasing one, you can definitely find some workouts!

        I need to make some soft boiled eggs now too!

        It’s been so rainy lately, but I’m really hoping for an evening walk again soon!

        Of course!! <3

  4. Yay for trying Barre!!! Don’t you just love/hate the micro movements?! hahah It makes the large range of motion feel like a massage. I bit the bullet and finally got an online subscription!! Barre3 had a special of all online workouts (200+) plus a new workout each week for an annual total of $170 AND I get a B3 ball and resistance band. I’m pumped! And you are TOO sweet to say that compliment about us! I do hope to get stronger cause while there may be some tone, there is less strength. 😉

    Ok I’m right there with ya on the being still thing. I think that’s why I struggle with work so much sometimes cause I just have so much downtime it seems so I feel anxious like I should be doing something. When I’m at home, I like to clean because a) I love a clean house! and b) I prefer moving. With that said, I also get anxious when I have too much going on sooo…..I’m a tough cookie to please sometimes. lolz

    Oh my goshhhhh nature 2 Mack 0 hahahahaha. I’m so sorry you got stung and I would be terrified too if birds did that to me! Then to be shat on?! man!

    Shopping is stressful when you NEED something! I know it might be hard since it’s not local to you but there’s a boutique here in Knoxvegas that has legit everything adorbs. http://www.shopvalsboutique.com It’s a little pricey but a great place if you are looking for something specific. I believe returns are only good for store credit but most of their items are true to size and they list the model’s sizing in the description.

    If you ever make it to Knoxville, we need to do OrangeTheory & Barre3! I LOVED OT but my gosh it’s SO expensive! I took a free class then said peace. lol

    Happy Friyayayay!

    1. Haha yessss! TOTALLY love/hate. Hate in the moment, LOVE after. And I love the “good” sore the next day too! Woahhh that is SUCH a good deal. We have Groupons around here but right now theyre all sold out- but I’m gonna keep my eye out for them! I’m already wanting to try another.

      Ohhh my gosh second paragraph- STORY of my life. I relate 10000%. Too busy= anxiety, but too little = anxiety. Also- I may have missed it in a post, but are you also a RD?

      LOL- the nature trip was something, but the stroke of bad luck isn’t over quite yet- I dropped my car keys into the gas station trash bin on accident. I literally had to tip the whole thing over to find them. Top 10 worst moments of my life, haha. (Hope you’re not eating right now!)

      Ahhh I cannot wait to check out the boutique!! *heart eyes!* Thank you sooo much for sharing!

      YES YES YES please! AHH, I would LOVE THAT. And OT is definitely expensive- I’m doing the same thing unless a friend or family member wants to go to a session I may do it every once in a while. But yessss it will happpen!!! 🙂 My sister lives in Cincy — not too far from Knoxville I don’t think? Maybe one time when I visit her I can stop by to see you guys too!!

      1. I always have to remind myself how great I’ll feel physically & mentally after a workout cause some days I just don’t wanna come home from work, put on workout clothes & move but man it always helps. kor & I scope out all the freebies around town (we use the MindBody app), so while we don’t consistently do yoga or OT, we get to dabble from time to time.

        Right?! I’ll literally be bored to tears then “oh my gosh how am I going to get all this done?!” & someone should come smack me. ha I’m not an RD (kor can vouch that I have the weakest stomach….even just talking about bodily functions or fluids makes me want to gag bahaha). I actually work for a mortgage company in downtown knoxvegas (started as a financial counselor & now I’m on our special projects team that deals with assistance – non-retention & retention options for homeowners). It’s a great company & I lucked out landing this job right out of college (!) but sometimes I get all wound up with anxiety of *needing* a career rather than just a job butttt I don’t know what I want to do. My poor hubs gets to deal with my angst & tries to help but ultimately it’s just kind of one of those things of life I think where we just don’t always have the answers. But I think that’s just another reason why I LOVE Barre3 because it gives me a great sense of accomplishment & elevates my mood. I think it’s easy as a youngin to get wrapped up in the idea that we have to do it all: have the ballin career, make a lot of money, hit all the life goals at the age society sets as the standard so I’m trying to focus on doing what’s best for me & finding success in other areas. I love being crafty so that’s been a great outlet for me to find joy & success. <— whoa nelly on the philosophy I know haha

        I can't tell you how much I love reading your blog because it's raw: you are genuinely positive & sweet but are true to your feelings: if you are having a rough time then you don't hide that & it just helps validate being human – you know what I mean jelly bean?

        Yes that would be so fun!

      2. Yessss, I can so relate. When I’d get home from my 12 hour shifts the last thing I wanted to do was workout, but even just a couple miles of running hard helped so much with my post work anxiety and helped me sleep better. I need to download that app! You guys have the BEST suggestions for everything.

        Oh my gooodness girl that is a seriously awesome position!!! So glad you are enjoying your job- and fresh out of college is just unheard of in this day & age. So cool! To me it totally sounds like a career- sometimes it’s the consecutive jobs over time that create the career, you know? Totally understand the angst though – it is REAL. Thank goodness for sweet husbands, right?!

        And being totally Type A as we are, I can 100% relate to how those pressures are weighing on you- but girlfriend, you are doing ah-may-zing!!! Society can say that is what life is all about, BUT it is really all about memories, family, friends, the little moments.. and you have your priorities soooo straight. It’s easy to get caught up in the pressure of it all though- totally get it. Now I’m talking in circles but just know you are an inspiration and you’re killing it *Insert strong arm emoji*. XOXO

  5. I love minor league games too! Whenever I travel, one of the first things I do is look to see if the town has a baseball team and if so, are they in town? 🙂

    1. Ahhh right!?!? This makes me so happy. Well, if you are ever in SJ make sure to check out the SJ Giants & try the garlic fries ! Thanks for stopping by!

      1. I’ve had the SF Giants garlic fries. Yum! I grew up in Sacramento and used to go to Giants games when the Cardinals came to town. 😀

      2. You got that right! It’s funny how expectations change though. Now I get all impatient when I don’t make it through a light the first time. 🙄

  6. Your hair is absolutely gorgeous!! I’m jealous! I really want to head in for a cut and color soon. My hair is naturally a dark blonde and I’d love to get a light blonde balayage for summer! Your hair is basically #goals, lol. 😉 Also, I’m so glad you’ve been able to slow down a little and practice some self-care. I alwaysssss struggle with connecting my value to my productivity, so I feel like I’m lazy and basically worthless if I’m not 24/7 busy. Which is totally an unhealthy mindset, and I’m glad you’re beginning to work through it too. It’s an easy cycle to get caught in. :/ That Harry Potter nights looks like so much fun! I would totally be down for that! Oh and I struggle so much with overcooking those eggs too when I want a runny yolk! I don’t like overcooked yolks, so it’s such a disappointment when it’s cooked lol. Typically I just poach my eggs and watch them like a hawk until the whites are just opaque enough. I think it’s around three minutes in the water, but I’ve set a timer before and still ended up with overcooked yolks, so now I just watch them, lol.

    1. Thank you , girlfriend!!!That is the sweetest thing ever! <3 <3 The only bad part is I can't curl my hair for my life so that's as good as it's gonna ever look hehe. If you get your hair done share it with us 🙂

      And yesss you described that SO perfectly. It's not a healthy mindset- but I think recognizing that is the first step, right ? I just keep reminding myself we have to be rested to give the best of ourselves to those around us and to ourselves too. Glad I'm not alone in feeling this way! Thanks for sharing with me.

      LOL- those darn eggs. Thank you for sharing ! Poached eggs are so darn good too- I think I'll stick to those & fried eggs.

      Have a great rest of the week, Tialla! Thanks for stopping by 🙂 <3

  7. I always have my phone on ‘Do Not Disturb’ I just hate all the dingies and buzzes from my phone. Lol I’m not busy or anything. I’m so glad you went out for a massage, you so deserved it!!! ♡ & that you’re going to keep relaxing until August. I got exhausted just reading about how you overwork yourself…like setting an alarm when you don’t need to?! I almost passed out for you lol.

    That wine map is really nifty. I’ve not tried lots of wine in my lifetime and I never like it, but I sure wish I did lol. Maybe I could find something with that map.

    Lol again. So cute how you bring popcorn (with a spoon?!) to Peet’s to watch TV on your laptop!!

    & is it Behind Closed Doors by B.A. Paris that you’re reading? I read that one a little bit ago. I actually feel opposite from you, I thought the content wasn’t disturbing enough…but my sister read it the same time as I did and her thoughts were the same as yours and she loved the book. Can’t wait to hear your thoughts on it.

    I can’t believe a bee stung you in the mouth?! Scary!! I’ve never been bit by a bee before & omg. Black crows flying across your face are really bad luck! Oh no! I hope that my superstitions aren’t real for you.

    That salmon dinner looks fantastic, Mack! Yum!

    All that HP themed stuff is so cool but I hate going to baseball games lmao. Have you ever taken the official sorting quiz on Pottermore?? I got Ravenclaw but I’m not sure it fits me. Idk.

    Lolol at the kid falling oh no that’s too funny to me. 😂😂

    Anyways, I love your updates as always!! Have a nice weekend. ♡

    1. Haha, yesss, so glad I’m not alone in that!

      Yes, that’s the book! I see what you mean- because it could have gone total Silence of the Lambs, but I think the red room was what really got me. I LOVED the ending. I thought it was perfectly tied up, and I honestly didn’t know exactly how it was going to end.

      LOL… nature had it OUT for me this week. Too funny.

      OK pause….20 minutes later… I just looked up the Pottermore quiz and took it— It says Ravenclaw! Why didn’t I know this existed?!?!!? I would have taken it a long time ago. Looks like we would be in the same house :)!

      OMG I love you- thank you for giggling with me at the video. I felt like a horrible human being but I was dying at the game. Haha.

      Thanks for stopping by, Chica. Hope alll is well!

      1. You know what, I’ve never even watched the Silence of the Lambs yet! I’ve heard it’s the worst!

        I hope your bee sting has healed up! <3

        That's so awesome that we'd both be in Ravenclaw. <3 😀

        I love laughing at kids, you're not horrible!!! Hahaha.

        <3 <3 Hope all is well with you, too!

      2. It was one of the movies I have probably disliked the most, but also a classic horror film. The writing was pretty phenomenal.

        Hahha, you crack me up!

        Have a great weekend, Hunida!!

  8. I absolutely loved the Harry Potter game you went to…what a magical evening that must have been…glad to read that self-care is making an appearance in your world…I’m hoping to schedule a soak in the tub soon!

    1. Thank you, Kimberlee!!! It was such a nice evening. I hope you had that tub soak and are taking some nice time for yourself as well 🙂 Thank you for stopping by !

  9. Firstly you are a goddess! So beautiful!
    And secondly I can completely relate to this! I feel like I am less then if I am not busy, but honestly I feel like sometimes I make myself busy in order to distract myself from actually dealing with the hard stuff if that makes sense.
    Aweee yay! Best sentence ever to read that you are benign to feel like yourself again beautY! Yay!
    Massages are the bet! if you need any yoga tips let me know beauty! Sometimes the best yoga is just being in childs pose and just breathing.
    Oh my lanta I bet DJ has some amazing commentary! I think you need to film it especially all the drama between David and Jordan.
    I know so may people who do Orange Theory but I have yet to try it.
    Bwaahaha I LOVE that you are watching The handmaidens Tale at Peet’s!
    Yikes! I hate that! Girl I joke all the time, but it is so true about being a Human Windshield for insects on my runs! I need some of that mosquito netting or something! I hope you are okay sweets!
    I LOVE Barre, but I know what you mean about cardio. Running is therapy!
    I LOVE that! That sounds like so much un! And I am a proud Ravenclaw all the way! That sounds like so much fun! And bwahahaha them running on broomsticks! So funny!
    Soft boiled eggs are so hard to make! I find poaching them is easier, but the looks SO yummy!
    Nature…I think I would like nature more without all the nature, but that kinda defeats the purpose of nature huh? (Sheesh Kate how many times can you say nature?) Supposedly being pooped on by birds is good luck (I have never viewed it that way) But I do sometimes think it is my sister’s funny sense of humor, saying hello. (though not sure how much I appreciate her using birds to poop on me as a greeting, butttt 🙂 <3 )
    Sending you huge hugs beauty. Your Dad is with you always. <3
    Ahhh I LOVE Anthropologie and that store is a beauty! 

    And so are you! Your hair looks gorgeous beauty! Ahhh I MISS Peets! Drink some for me will you pleaseee? I hope you are having an amazing weekend beauty! <3

    1. Ahh you are tooooo sweett! If only I actually knew how to curl my hair- it allll goes downhill from here. Haha.

      Woah- that’s SO insightful and wise, maybe that is something I need to think about more… maybe it’s in the quiet that I am forced to face and think about things I am trying to stay busy to distract from… thank you for sharing that. I will be munching on that thought for sure.

      Isn’t it amazing what child’s pose can do?!?! It’s sooo nice and relaxing. I’ve been slowly adding more and more yoga back in and it’s helping a lot. Hahaha- I wish you could listen in… his commentary is truly my favorite part of the show. I watched it by myself while he had a game a few days ago, but it was not nearly as enjoyable!

      Bahah- yess, that’s so accurate- a human windshield for bugs. Yayyy!!! You are ravenclaw too! I took the official Pottermore quiz after this post and that’s what I got.

      I think I will definitely be sticking with the poaching too- the soft boiled were SO rough … 5 eggs deep… haha. What a sad waste!

      Bahahha you crack me up. I’m laughing out loud while watching handsmaid tale which feels like a horrible juxtaposition.

      Seriously?! It’s known as good luck? Well hot dog.. I’m in for a real good stretch. Hahah. Aw I love how you think of your sister with that though haha. She’s just tryin’ bestow some extra good luck on you 😉

      Thanks for stopping by, girlie. I will definitely have Peet’s for you, love! Cannot WAIT to read your SD posts. XOXO

  10. Hi Mackenzie, self care is so important for all of us, even if some of us have multiple kids, its good to make time! We can give our all after a good rest, mind , body and soul get restored after going through crazy times at work where we forget what day it is! It is so nice you took the time to hand in that mans credit card. And how grateful he was for your kind action. Good for you getting a massage for yourself. After all the personal care you have shown to your patients this past year its time for the carer to get taken care of herself! The winebar looks such a fun spot, the next time I am in your town I will stop by! Its great to bring your laptop to a favorite coffee shop and catch up on shows. p.S. I now see peets have k cups in the grocery store I shop in! Harry Potter night looked so fun! You are right, minor league is the best! With fried eggs lately , as soon as you put it on the pan , flatten down the yolk with a fork so the egg cooks faster and more even , just an idea! It must be great to have a condensed wardrobe, it is good to clear out. It is so hard to find the right dress in stores, I hope i can inspire you with some links on my blog! I LOVE your hair . It must feel good . Have a great week Dear, hugs, Terri xo.

    1. Hi Terri! Thanks for stopping by!! You are SO right!! We must be full and rested before we can give the best of ourselves. Hearing you say that it’s ok to take this time to rest and recoup a bit is very affirming. Thank you so much.

      Please do stop by! It will be my treat! 🙂

      Oooo yay! I will say I really like the Peet’s KCups, but NOTHING is better than a cup from the shop itself.

      Thanks for the tips! And I definitely was inspired by some of your dresses from your blog! I actually found some overlay lace ones that reminded me of a few you have posted 🙂

      Thank you so much again, Terri! XO

  11. I’ve been horrible when it comes to self care, BUT I’m trying to do better. It really is so important!
    And Girl, you had a few rough run-ins with nature. Ha, ha. I can’t believe you swallowed a bee! One time when I was bike-riding, a bee slammed into my forehead and somehow stung me. That made for an awkward day or so… Ha, ha.
    And I don’t have any egg boiling secrets. BUT I have to say that I’m not kind of in the mood for an egg. Ha, ha.

    1. Hi Nicole!!!! It is important, right?!

      Lol, nature had it OUT for me this week. So funny. I don’t know what happened with the bee– it was definitely a sting or a bite cause it HURT but my tongue didn’t swell or anything, so maybe it was just a sweat bee or something?

      Ahhhh that’s so unfortunate ! You would think you’d be moving fast enough to avoid all that, but maybe it was actually too fast, lol!

      Hope you got an egg- baha! Thanks sooo much for stopping by 🙂

  12. I loved this post because I am the exact same way! I have to be super sick before I ever slow down, and don’t feel guilty about it. And, I know that’s not healthy at all! All your nature fails really cracked me up…sorry! But you were having some bad luck! I hate shopping too. I really have to be in the mood, and it never fails that when I’m able to go shop, I’m not in the mood! I’m with you on the online shopping. I have started doing all of my shopping online. It seems to be easier than when I try to go into the store. I just make sure I can return if it doesn’t fit.

    1. Right?! Thank you for affirming that it is A OK to just slowww on down.

      Hahaha- I’m so glad they gave you a chuckle. At least something came out of them! I was being punked by the universe.

      Ahh I am so glad I’m not the only female that doesn’t enjoy shopping. yesssss.

      Have a great rest of your week, Tara!!! Your comments made my evening 🙂

  13. I’m so happy you’ve had some time for self care and availability for whatever God has in store for you, Mack!! Slowing down can be such a lovely, lovely thing when we finally allow it and settle into the rest, as hard as it is to get to that point mentally and physically!

    Your hair looks beautiful, by the way <3

    1. Thank you so much, Allie! <3 Rest is SO important. Unfortunately it's a lesson I need to relearn again and again and again. Thanks for your sweet words !

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